Creating the Right Atmosphere

As a writer, and even more as a reader, I have had occasion to notice that the most successful passages come as a result of setting the right atmosphere. Ever notice how many horror stores start with a "dark and stormy night?" WIth erotic fiction, it is perhaps more important than ever because erotica is such a "visual" genre. It's all fine and well to tell the reader how this charater has a "huge, throbbing member" or a "slick, wet pussy", but let's be honest; that can take you only so far, and after a while, with lack of environmental and sensory details, it becomes downright juvenile.

As a writer of erotic fiction, or any fiction for that matter, you must think of youself, not as an author, but as a storyteller - or better yet - a film maker. When you create, you have a visual image of what you're writing about, now it's your job to get that down on a page so that the reader can visualize in his or her mind what you are writing about. Think for a moment about this passage:

Brian sat Emily down on the bathroom counter, and easily slid into her. He fucked her slowly at first, gradually increasing the pace, as Emily's cries of pain mixed with pleasure filled the room.

OK, maybe you get it, kinda, sorta. Now let's look at the same scene enhanced with some atmospheric detail.

Emily exited the shower, her glistening skin framed by wispy tendrils of steam that still filled the air. The soft strains of a ballad by The Eagles filtered in from the adjacent bedroom. Brian gently lifted her and placed her on the counter. She gasped slightly and flinched as the cold surface of the mocha colored marble top came into contact with her bare skin, and goose pimples rippled across her pale flesh. Brian's eyes stared deeply into hers, as if searching out her soul, and penetrated her suddenly with his eager cock. Wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, her focus shifted to avoid his piercing stare. Looking over his shoulder, the tiny pink roses on the wallpaper became a blur as he thrust into her with ever increasing ferocity. Animal cries emanated, as if of their own volition,from the very center of her being, each reverberating briefly around the tiny room before being overtaken by the next.

Better? I won't go into the importance of dialog, we'll save that for another time; but, I think you can now better picture in your own mind, what I see in mine. And don't forget to think outside the gender box. Men and women tend to process visual and sensory cues in different ways, so think about how you present those details. Are they written in such a way as to be visualized the same way by men and women alike? There is a country music song called "I'm Still a Guy", written by Brad Paisley, that goes, "when you see a deer, you see Bambi. I see antlers mounted up on the wall." That is a perfect illustration of my point. Painting a lovemaking scene where the woman is being made love to on the flat on her back in a pile of hay in a barn leave man with a pleasing visual image, while a woman 's first thought may be of how itchy and uncomfortable that would be.

I hope this helps you see how the addition of atmospheric detail, both visual and sensory, can add depth and interest to your work.