The child behind the door

On this gentle night we wander lonely through my mind
in fear of the shadows, the creatures we may find,
as my mind is no castle built on wondrous delights,
a terror stalks the corridors as it stalks my restless nights.

Look not upon the twisted shapes I have no skill to paint
just inch down this passage with me, relinquish your restraint,
feel not the frozen sculptures my human hands can't build,
just guide me through my memories as I lay horror-filled.

I've never been this way before, this door I've never seen,
for years of searching, scurrying, through all that lay between,
etched within its wooden face my simple childhood home;
"hold me close, I beg you, I can't go on alone."

Reach toward the handle, let it open with a creak,
my mind must know I'm ready for the answers that I seek,
join me on my passing as the dancing shadows clear,
gift me innocent bravery as I'm petrified by fear.

"Be quick! The beast has come! it can smell our blood!"
For now there is no turning back, even if we could.
"Can you hear its angry snarling, its scratches echoing?
What torment in my childhood home created such a thing?"

Look upon the stairway that leads beneath my thoughts,
I'm so sorry I've brought you here, so sorry we're caught,
"We must descend to darkness for that's our only hope,"
I hear the beast prepare its noose, we must avoid the rope.

Who sits within this dusty pit? A lonely crying child;
a teddy bear in his sweaty grip, his features fiery, wild.
"Come to him, kiss his cheek, hate not what you see,
although hopeless and pitiful, this little boy was me."

Allow me to approach alone, his story for my ears,
now forgive me my sickness, forgive me for my tears.
"We must get him to safety, please take his hand.
And thank you for guiding me for now I understand."

I built this castle of memories upon a dusty tomb,
since adolescence I constructed, ignored this frightful womb,
this child has sat in seething pain behind repressions door
and without your smile to guide me he would live there ever more.

Now no inch lay undiscovered, no matter what mortal cost,
as without my confrontation life's battle already lost,
we shall slay the beast together, you, myself and I,
then please hold me in your comfort as my body slowly cries.