Down by the River

Down by the River

Today, I went down to the river behind my house. I needed to connect to a "power place" to recharge my cells.  A time when anything was possible and the future was fertile horizon. The running water over my feet felt cool and cleansing. I remembered a past time, listening to a song by the band Big Country, that reminded me of my passionate, spirited youth. I don't seem to have those kinds of feelings anymore.

I wonder why this is. There's a lack of passion and creativity in my life. I don't seem to know how to get that back or if it is even possible to retrieve feelings from the past. I'm not surrounded by a network of friends that invigorate that "liveliness of spirit. I'm lost in that I don't know what I really am supposed to be doing during this period of life. I've been wandering the desert for the last eighteen years and in the words of U2, "I still haven't found what I'm looking for."

When I was a young adult, all I cared about was spending time with my friends and windsurfing. I had a car, money in my pocket, and enough free time to enjoy being alive. Now, I work, pay my bills, and spend most of my time at home alone. My work provides some connection but, I don't really enjoy what I'm doing anymore. I feel like I'm ready to move on to another occupation and place, somewhere I'm more connected to people, friends, and life.

I'm putting it out there in writing to the world, because I want the universe to know that I'm ready. Show me the way and I will follow. I want to be alive and in the the world as a catalyst of change and carrier of love in a meaningful way to benefit others. I know there is a place where I belong and I'm ready and willing to take the steps to get there if I can just open my eyes and see with my heart, mind and soul. I place these thoughts into the river of dreams and to the ocean I hope they will flow and manifest in the myriad seas of creation.