The life of a drunk

The life of a drunk

Whiskey, beer, hot toddy's and gin,
The amount we drink is a mortal sin,
your enemy's become your very best friends.
As you guzzle a bottle right down to the end.
You love everybody, no matter who,
While the sober people are laughing at you.

Conversation's get tricky, you speak double dutch.
It's your own stupid fault for drinking so.much.
Bang, slap wallop and fall.
Holding yourself up against the wall.
One for the road I've heard that before.
But totally plastered you fall on the floor.

Get out of my sight or I'll clatter your lugs.
I just saw you stare at a giant pair of jugs.
You stagger out with a moan or groan,
Not safe enough to be let out alone,
You sing your way home in the key of tone deaf.
We bump in to that clown of a friend you call Jeff.

I love you man, he says with a splutter.
I love you too man, you're like a true brother.
Get inside now, be a good little hubby.
You really are soft like a cute little puppy.
You head up the stairs I hear a,big splat.
Your r10 ton beer belly has squashed my poor cat.

I'm heading to bed, you better not snore,
I will kick you drunk butt and you'll sleep on there floor.
Sleeping and snoring like a pig in a trot.
I suppose I am lucky with the sod I have got. ,
The mortification or what were saying,
You threatened the thugs so you better start praying.

Thats all you remember until the next day,
When your head is thumping and banging away.
The mortification is filling your head,
As you slowly remember the things you said.
Never again, you have said that before.
Well maybe a little tipple, or just a little sip more.

by Shirley Moody