I feel a weight on me toninght. |
I feel a weight on me tonight, a weight that burns with fright. An eternal apology replaying in my head, a constant feeling that, maybe I'm dead. A knowledge that I think too slow, a knowledge that much worse will soon follow. I'm sorry not to have followed life's lead. I'm sorry that I made so many hearts bleed. I only hope the world can carry on, forgive this empty, souless song. I wanted so much for the future, hope, and faith, and softest sutures. I'd hoped I'd get it right, I hoped I'd begin, to see the light, beyond my fears. Yet I'm too late, I spent too long, writing an old song, thinking when perhaps I should have been gone. I'd only hoped to help my friends, my family that never ends. I filed on one sole simple count, my own beauty I knew to doubt. When I saw it right in front of me, I broke their hearts accidentally. I never knew what I was doing, just seemed automatic hurt I was spewing. But all I had to do was one thing, mend a girl with a broken wing. I lost my fight with self, lost my faith, fell into ill health of the mind. Sickened by my own appearance I turned to find, the world looked just like me, a bunch of happy folks just trying to see, what was going on in my mind. I know know I should never have tempted, burnt myself against the disaffected. Youth thinks faster than light can travel, my own cold heart turns to gravel. I only hope I can find a better way through, pass the load from me right through. I don't hate, don't hope for a right way, just see if tomorrow brings another day. And when it does, I smile, because, I know we've got a little more time. To try to make it right for her, and right for her, somehow. I just hope the world can see, why my disbelief is not a disability. Although may have I hurt the ones I love, I only hope forgiveness rains from above. |