Where truth, if truth there be, doth dwe

They were all staring at me. I knew they would. I knew this was a bad idea. Coming out in the open like this was a mistake. Anyone could be watching. Any one of these people could be a spy. However my contact demanded that we met up, insisting that he had information about Jean. I had no idea whether to trust him or not, but at this point I needed all the help I could get.

         I produced the bottle of the brown mystical liquid that kept my brain in check from my inside coat pocket. Some of my unease drained away as it trickled down my throat and the familiar free headed feeling began to return. Without this potion I would still be in the same delusional state as everyone else, unaware of the true danger that had gripped this country.

A man at the table next to me was staring at me as I drank, but quickly looked away when I spotted him. I glared back. He dared a few more glances before moving to another table far down the other end of the room. I went back to my potion. I’d spent the last three days getting hold of as much of it as possible without being caught by any agents. Yesterday I’d had a narrow escape when I was spotted by one in some supermarket. I barely managed to escape, and so being here in this “Public house” was not something I was comfortable with.

A man entered the Pub, spotted me and gave a short wave. My nerves increased again. I knew this man from my previous life; however I had not spoken to him since I’d been on the run.

“Rrichrrd.” I grunted at him as he approached my table. My voice came out hoarser then I imagined. It dawned on me that I had hardly used it the last few days.

“Hiya mate,” he said, twisting his hands in front of him. “I’ll just get us a drink.” When he turned his back I took another swig from my potion. We’d been friends before but I didn’t know whether I could trust him now. He had inside information on my life and could have been easily linked to Jean’s kidnapping. I looked over my shoulder to make sure there was an escape near by. He had positioned himself between me and the front entrance, but I could utilise the fire escape if I needed too.

Richard returned with two glasses of a golden liquid, and set one down in front of me. I waited for him to drink before I touched mine. It tasted familiar, and not dissimilar from my potion. It had a similar effect at least. Richard downed half his drink in one gulp before speaking again.

“I’ve been trying to get hold of you all week. I thought you’d left town or something.” Something was up. He wasn’t meeting my eyes. “Where’ve you been? You don’t look so good.”

“Mmbeen arround.” I mumbled.

“Right, right.” Richard replied, still avoiding my gaze. He sighed, cleared his throat and finally attached his eyes to mine. “How have you been since the… you know.”

“I’lll be honest,” I declared, fixing him with a deadly stare. “I’ve beenn better.”

“Yeah mate, look.” Richard was twisting his hands again. “We need to talk.” I leaned in closer.

“Sshould we rreally be doing thhis in.. such a public pllace?” I was surprised at how difficult I found it to form the words. I could run them through my mind, but my mouth seemed to be running slower than my brain. I assumed I must be out of practise; it was the only logical explanation.

“Yeah, I thought public would be better.” Richard shifted in his seat and recoiled slightly as I leaned in closer. “Don’t wanna make a scene.”

“But we don’t knnow who might be listening.” I whispered. Richard looked at me.

“Who would want to listen to us?” He asked.

“Shpies.” I demanded. “Shpies for the govnermment.”

“Err, what?”

“The govnernment! Don’t you understand?” I demanded. “They’re rresponsible ffor everyfing.”

“Responsible for what?” Richard kept staring at me.

“Everyfing!” I demanded. I had to make my ally understand. “They’ve taken ovver the whole country in secret.” Richard didn’t respond immediately.

“Elections aren’t held in secret mate.” He eventually replied. He clearly did not understand.

“No! No, thhat was a cover.” I demanded. “I ssaw it on a poster. It said “We carn’t go on like this.’”

“Isn’t that the party campaign poster?” Richard replied.

“You’ve heard of thhem?” I was relieved. “The underground movement, trrying to over thrrow the govnerment?”

Richard stared at me silently.

“Don’t you underrstand?” I demanded.

“How much have you had to drink?” He replied. He clearly didn’t understand. I had to show him. I produced the bottle of brown potion from my coat and handed it to him. He looked at it and shoved it back at me.

“You can’t bring that in here, that’s outside drink!” He whispered. “Quick, hide it!” He was right; it was stupid of me to display my potion so openly and in such a public place. My desperation for Richard to understand was clouding my judgement. I took another swig to clear my mind and hid it in my coat again.

“I think you should stop drinking mate.” He took back the pint he gave me.

“Nonssensse.” I demanded. “They’ve shpiked our waterr supplies. This antidote clearrs my mmind and shows me my purposse! We musst join theze rebels and over thrrow the govnerment.”

“Purpose? What? Is this because of your job? You can’t blame the Government for cutbacks-“

“Yes, my purposse. Our purposses. We must free the country.”

“Keep your voice down, people are staring.” Richard warned. Finally, he was speaking sense. “Enough with this conspiracy crap. I’ll get you a glass of water, and then we can talk properly.”

He drained his drink, and left with mine, leaving me time to ponder my friends actions. Was he bluffing? Was he pretending he didn’t know? I didn’t know until three days ago so it was entirely possible that he had no idea at all. It was the most logical explanation. Surely if he was working with the Govnerment he would have captured me by now. I had to make him understand.

He returned with a clear liquid saying “Here you go mate, this will clear your head.”

“My head is alrready clear.” I demanded, nearly knocking over the glass with my hand. “I’ve been thhinking clearlly for thrree dayss now.”

“Since you started drinking that...what did you call it?” Richard asked quietly.

“The antidote.” I responded.

“Yeah that’s right.” He dropped his gaze again. “Look, Jean told me what happened.”

“You’ve been in contact with Jean?” I demanded. I had forgotten about Jean! How could I forget about her? She had been on my mind constantly since her kidnapping but somehow seeing Richard had made me forget. Something must be wrong; it was the only logical explanation.

“Yeah mate, she-“

“Isshe ok?” I protested. “Isshe safe?”

“Err, yeah.” Richard gave me an odd look. “Look, I need to talk to you about-“

“Where isshe held?” I demanded.

“Look, just drink your drink and we’ll talk about it.” Richard pushed the water towards me.

He watched me intently as I took a tentative sip from the glass. He kept his eyes on me, making sure that I swallowed. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he was trying to lull me into a false sense of security so that he could use this obviously spiked drink to cloud my mind with lies again.

“Better?” he asked.

“Mmuch.” I lied. As soon as he took his eyes off me I took a quick gulp from my potion again.

“Listen.” Richard sighed. “Jean came round a few days ago-“

“Sshe can’t have! Sshe was kidnapped!” I interrupted.

“No. She wasn’t.” Richard protested. “She came to me.”

The realisation trickled into my mind as the potion opened my eyes. Richard had taken her. He had knocked me out in my home and had taken her to the Govnerment to hold as hostage. They were taking every part of my life, and now they’d taken Jean, and possibly countless other women hostage. They were using Richard to get at every part of my life.

“She was distraught. She said you-“

“Lliar!” I roared, jumping to my feet, but as I did the room span. I lost my balance and collapsed into the table, spilling the water down my coat. Richard must have spiked it! It was the only logical explanation! “Whhat havve you donne to mme!”

“Look, calm down.” Richard protested, standing too. He grabbed hold of my arm. I tried to fight him off, but his drug was making me weak. I took a swing at him but he his reflexes were greater then I thought, as he managed to grab my arm before my fist made contact. He must have undergone training. Maybe he was a fully trained assassin. It was the only logical explanation. How did I not spot this before?

There was a grunting voice from across the room and Richard yelled “Its ok, I’ll get him out of here.”

“Hellp!” I screamed. “He’s trrying to abb-duct me. He’s taken my wiffe and now he’s taking mme too.”

“Calm down.”  He shouted over my screams, forcing me towards the exit. “They’ll call the police if you keep this up.”

“Don’t calll the police, their worrking with the govnerment!” I protested to the watching costumers as Richard shoved me through the door. He suddenly let go of me to shut the door behind him and I staggered onto the pavement. Before I could regain my sense of awareness he was on me again, dragging me to my feet and marched me into a side alley, away from public eyes. He pinned me up against the wall and fixed me with a deadly stare. All the sudden movement was making my head spin and the poison he’d fed me was making me nauseous. I couldn’t muster the energy to fight back.

“Look, Its time to stop, alright?” He demanded. “I know things have been bad for you recently, but if you keep this up you’re going to get arrested or worse.”

I heard the words but the meaning got lost in my muddled brain. I just struggled too break free and didn’t reply. His grip relaxed and he let his eyes fall. Was this some sort of trickery to lull me into a false sense of security? Why would he do that? I was already at his mercy.

“Listen mate,” He said slowly. “I think its time you stopped drinking, for good this time. Give me the bottle.”

So this was his game. He wanted to take away my potion, lull me back into the delusion that the country has been subjected too. It was the only logical explanation. I wouldn’t let him. Taking advantage of his slackened grip, I knocked his hand off my arm and pushed him with all the strength I could muster. Caught by apparent surprise, he stumbled back giving me chance to make good on my escape. I staggered out of the alley and fell into someone in the street, knocking them over. I didn’t stop to help them back up, I couldn’t waste any time. They could have well been an agent of the govnerment, like Richard. I was back to not being able to trust anyone anymore.

Barging past everyone on the street, I stumbled my way to find another ally where I could hide and recover from whatever Richards poison was doing to my body. I could then form a plan as to how to rescue my Jean.

My vision was becoming blurry. I took out my potion to clear my head, but I stumbled into someone and the bottle slipped out of my hand. It hit the floor with a crash that echoed even in my dulled mind.

I stared in horror as its precious contents spilled all over the street.

Slowly I became aware that the man who had caused this was attempting to talk with me.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there.” He blustered.

“Do you knnow whhat you’ve donne?” I yelled at him. “You’ve ruinned everyfing!”

“I’m sorry.” He protested. “I’ll pay you for a new another bottle, I swear.” He backed off as I rounded on him.

“We’ll alll pay forr whhat you’ve donne.” I growled at him.

“I-I don’t understand.” He stammered. He reached into his pocket as he backed away. He was going for a weapon. Before he had chance to attack me, I punched him in the face and ran past, pushing the onlookers out the way as I ran. The shouts of outrage barely penetrated my mind.

I found a suitable ally, and dived into it, concealing myself behind some bags of rubbish. I heard people run past, shouting, looking for me. As I caught my breath and began to calm down I realised I had made an error in judgement. Letting my temper get the better of me and causing a scene like that was dangerous. Especially now I’d told Richard that I knew the governments secrets, but I was so angry. I’d lost the potion, and if I didn’t find some more soon, I’d fall back under the web of lies they had ensnared everyone else in.

A sense of panic began to wash over me as I tried to form a new plan. I needed to get some more of that antidote, and that meant breaking into a store. That would be far too dangerous now that everyone was looking for me. I was sure to be down on their most wanted list now as a terror suspect. Maybe that’s all terrorists are, people who understand, who know the truth? It’s the only logical explanation.

Not for the first time, I found myself trying to piece together the events of four nights ago. I remembered coming home to Jean, angry about something. I was drinking some of the potion. But then, all I could remember is rage. As I lay there I could feel my head starting to pound. For the first time in three days I was getting a headache. It was impacting on my thoughts. I desperately tried to remember what had made me so angry. Before I had assumed it was finding out about the government, but now, I remembered waking up in an alley; similar to how I was now, and reading the rebels poster, then running home to find Jean missing, and bottles of empty potion everywhere, one with a blood stain on. My murky mind had pieced the clues together, but as I lay there something began to feel off about it all. I wished I still had my potion to clear my head and make sense of it all.

A noise punctured through my thoughts, clearer than anything I’d heard all day. A siren. How long had I been laying there? I had completely lost track of time and had stayed in one place for too long. Now the police had been summoned. Damn.

I stumbled to my feet and dared a glance around into the street. A patrol car with its lights blazing was parked next too a crowd of people. One of the crowd members had a bleeding nose and was talking to a policeman, who was taking notes. As I spied on them I spotted Richard at the forefront of the crowd, glancing around the area. Suddenly, his eyes met mine. I dived back into the alley, stumbled, but managed to keep my balance. It was too late. I heard Richard’s voice carry across to me “He’s in that ally”. Panic rose in me like I hadn’t felt for days. I dove deeper into the ally but came across a brick wall. I was cornered. This was it, there was no escape.

I turned to see the two policemen running at me. Before I could make any attempt at defending myself I was pinned against the wall, and trapped in the cold grip of their metal handcuffs. They barked at me but I wasn’t listening. All I could think about was that I’d failed. They dragged me to the car and shoved me in the back, leaving me with my thoughts.

I remember the drive to the station clearer then anything else throughout those three days. Everything was in sharper focus and time seemed to move slower. I also remember the sickening realisations that entered my brain as the last vestiges of the potion trickled out. I began to realise everything I had lost. I had lost my purpose, and now there were no logical explanations.