Bunny America

America

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Motto – By the Bright Star Guide Us Forth to Distant Green and Plentiful Pastures.

This article is about America see We Rule Over Spaceships on TV disambiguation, for other entries.

America is feudalistic dynasty. It is an island situated on the south coast of Italy to the immediate east of Sicily. It is constituted of forty-eight areas of land, each piece of land is populated by an extended family of rabbits each rabbit is permitted to bare arms.  The country accounts for 60% of world spending on military hard ware.

Etymology

The word ‘America’ comes from pre-historic Italian for ‘rubbish dump’, though this has often been mistranslated as ‘beautiful country’, which it generally considered to be. Though the word in its plural form is Americasssss with four ‘ssss’ to dissociate itself from any small children with similar names. In a similar way, for differing reasons, nationals call themselves Americanssss.

Geography

The land area of America is approximately 5,000 square kilometers when the tide is in and 6,000 square kilometers when the tide is out. This liminal tidal zone is a disputed area with several other countries making claims to it. America is a small meditation island with a dormant volcano at its center surrounded by planes to the north arid and to the south humid and vegetated. At the base of the volcano is woodland, both coniferous and disastrous. A small river, source is a spring on the volcano, which meanders across the planes to the sea. The climate is temperate, though the proximity of the sea gives rise to milder winters. Rainfall increases substantially in the winter; spring and summer have occasional showers.

There is believed to be a lost city of Alaska to the North West of the Island, though scientific rabbits have stated that they have clear indisputable evidence of this, it has been repeatedly disproved by scientific bodies from various internationally reputable agencies.

On the eastern side of the country is the Big Apple Core, the largest rabbit hutch high-rise maximum capacity dream city. On the western side is LW, or Los Warren. 

History

The first recorded settlers to America were an extended family of zealous Italian religious rabbits that had been shunned from their town [name town] for their bad and monotonous religious singing. Fleeing religious oppression they set forth and intended to sail the oceans and get to India, as they mistakenly believed that rabbits were religious animals there and their lives as divine beings would be understood. Instead they ran aground on an uninhabited island off the south coast of Italy. In 50 AD a different breed of rabbits came to the island from Belgium and interbred creating a new sub species. This subspecies had distinctively different taste in food to his ancestors, liking semi spicy food wrapped in flour or corn pancakes. There was no tolerance for these new fangled cuisine eaters so they were put on a ship with a couple of month’s worth of supplies. They ended up in Mexico and became Mexicans. They left their cuisine as a legacy on America.

In the 1960s neighbouring Sardinia in a strategy to gain a better understanding of the Americanssss mindset to enable an aggressive infiltration of their currently internally produced TV programmes decided to capture a few number of rabbits each year and subject them to a series of physical and psychological tests. To avoid detection the Sardinians, at a military base in Nuoro, invested heavily in a new type of craft, space ships that they use to kidnap the chosen rabbits. The native Americanssss now believe that America is a direct conduit for an alien nation that will make friends with the rabbit nation and enable the rabbit nation the world domination they feel is rightly theirs.

In the 19th Century the island the attacks of the M.M.M.s and the A.M.M.M.s commenced Meandering Marauding Magicians and Agents of Meandering Marauding Magicians. Flotillas of M.M.M.s and A.M.M.M.s landed off the island came to the island and captured large numbers of Americanssss and forced them to a life of perpetual slavery.  Cyprus has long been accused by America being a staging post of rabbit trafficking.

Also in the 19th Century the rabbits learnt how to swim and large trances of society became beach bums. This had a negative effect on the islands economy and industrialization, which they missed to a large degree.

Wars

America has officially denounced the right to declare war. Though it has claimed self defense on many seemingly aggressive and offensive military incursions.

Government

The country is run by a small group, of approximately 12 rabbits, who are selected from birth to form the government. The Cloud Halo Council as it is called. The chosen rabbits then live in a desert commune and smoke copious amounts of ganja. Their policies and directives are amazingly enlightened and forward thinking but the bureaucrats and representatives return to each feudal state and recite gibberish poetry in short media friendly sound bites.
There is one leader of the Cloud Halo Council; current leader is Bob Bunny Bush. Who is leader is decided more by the power play of each feudalistic state, the allegiances they form and the simplicity of the speeches given by each feudal states representative. 

Economy

The export of biomass bunny poo is the main source of funds for the island country. It is an equivalent to crude oil in terms of Jules. As a result each state is interested increasing the population so that they can make more cash for excrement. Each state invests heavily in military hardware so they are unable to construct wonders. 

Infrastructure

The island is at the cutting edge of technology electricity is supplied in Wi-Fi form. In areas it has leaked into the surrounding area the Americanssss have particularly sticky up hair. In some states there are rabbits who have sticky up hair but the Wi-Fi electricity is actually functioning normally, it is just that Americanssss fitted with pace makers are effected by the Wi-Fi electricity network and in addition to the sticky up hair hop at a higher frequency than unaffected rabbits who don’t have pace makers.

Military

All Americanssss are enlisted as part of national service, though a well-developed system of back-pawers has developed so that the most unworthy can indefinitely defer completing their national service. All attendees are shipped out to Gaum as small island off the coast of Portugal. The island of Gaum is inhabited by colony of Welsh Cormorants. Amazingly this island has a very low annual rainfall, making it somewhat dry and arid. The island is littered with Welsh cormorant guano, which has the highest sodium nitrate content of any other guano. The Americanssss droppings combined with the Welsh Cormorant guano makes an explosive combination. The rabbits, due to de-education, unaware of the explosive combustion their presence makes so spend their entire time trying to find the enemy that is throwing invisible but deadly and explosive bombs at them.

In an underground bunker near the dormant volcano there is the world largest nuclear arsenal. The command execute button and key have been lost by The Cloud Halo Council during a re-enactment of Bob Rabbit Marley’s life and times, wearing bandanas.

The underground nuclear base is run and supervised by an elite brigade of commando rabbits. The commando rabbit have radioactive droppings  so are unable to reintegrate with society. The Commando Brigade deny that they are in fact addicted to radioactive salts which have leaked from Fat Man  that they lick  at regular intervals.

The Americanssss have become pioneers in the use of war pigs. They have a fully armed sty of around 500 war pigs . Armed with AA-12 strapped to their backs and BARZ, a silenced sub machine gun.
Science and Technology

The Americanssss are leaders in the race to mine the moon. Their motivation for conquering the moon is religious. They feel that any inhabitation or visitation from other nationals will contaminate their rabbit god Moon Lapis Goddess. They have built and sent up into space a series of defensive satellites armed with Nuclear War Pigs, which can be launched at short notice to destroy enemy attacks on the moon.

Transportation

Every rabbit has access to an automobile this is so that in the case of committing a crime they can drive at top speed, thus indicating their guilt to police force. Elevated highways that goes round in circles have been built near each Hutch City so that Americanssss can get in them and drive. Anthropologists are unsure of the purpose of this.
Energy

The countries main energy supply comes from the burning of rabbit faeces. The National Grid is a Wi-Fi energy transfer system. Cars also run on rabbit droppings after a modification process at a refinery.
Education

Rabbits go through a process of  de-education from an early age. This so female rabbits are naïve and suitably impressionable during the frequent mating seasons. This process also means that most inhabitants don’t have any ‘ideas’, which gives rise to a predominantly harmonious society.
Health

On the northern plan there is an abundance of Timothy-Grass, which is ideal food for rabbits. Any ill or unhealthy rabbits migrate to this area to feast themselves on the grass. Unfortunately these sick and unhealthy rabbits are frequently killed off by opportunistic and zealous Armageddonists who are determined to depopulate the country. They feel that they are taking them out of their misery.

Occasionally rabbits are snatched from the island by organic loving giant beings who use the rabbits are pregnancy test kits, as it is believed that if the urine of a pregnant female human lands on a rabbit it will immediately kill the rabbit.  To ward off future snatches the Americansssss created a giant statue to stand on the coast to ward off any further attackers. It is an emblem of freedom for the rabbits, with a pointy crown and a flame.

Amputees

Since the beginning of time, rabbits have been snatched for their paws or rather paw. It is considered lucky in some countries to carry a dismembered limb around your neck. The rabbit population has now taken measures to counter act this violent act to reduce the number of hop-along amputees, though amputee rabbit pole-vaulting is an increasingly popular spectator sport.

Myxomatosis

Myxomatosis was introduced by a high street clothing chain that wanted to fill the market with a line of confused colourful finger gloves. As rabbits don’t have fingers they put on the gloves with mixed up digits, the rabbits are then unable to breed as they are too fascinated by attempting to touch their own genitals with the ‘confused gloves’. Visitors to America can see rabbits infected by Myxomatosis rolling around with brightly covered hand gear on their front paws in a state of starvation, or acute dehydration. Once infected a sufferer is ostracized from the community. No one has ascertained with the infected rabbits are actually able to touch their private parts with the glove or not. Gloves are now only dispensed from registered chemists in extreme circumstances.
Language

Due to excessive levels of paranoia in the country, the Council of High Language meets every third Tuesday to discuss and decree the latest version of ‘Bunny Talk’ the informal name of the national language Rhinocerousfranca. It is also called Bunnilingus because of the fact that they are rabbits. This usually means that basic words such as pronouns for example ‘he’ and ‘she’ are often switched or changed around, in addition to many other words used at high frequency in every day language. These changes last for three weeks and then there is another decree on the updated version on the language. For example, one week ‘He’ is ‘He’, ‘She’ is ‘She’ and ‘Thank you’ is ‘Thank you’, following the decree ‘She’ becomes ‘He’, ‘He’ becomes ‘Who’ and ‘Thank you’ becomes ‘Potato”. This is highly advantageous as it means that the TV industry is perpetually kept busy updating and changing programmes to meet the new language. It also means that outside imports into the spoken and written work industry are none existent. Books are used as things to put coffee cups on, not that Americanssss drink coffee. Any rabbit using an out of date version of Bunny Talk is immediately seen as a spy, alien being or an imposter of any kind. Though, Americanssss who have been abducted by alien species also exhibit the same language integration problems. It is believed that many spices have lied about alien abduction to cover up their true identity.
Religion

The religion is divided into four groups:
1.          The Armageddon Rabbits
2.          Followers of Iffy
3.          Bunnishism
4.          Joeism

There is the Armageddon Rabbit sec that wants the volcano to erupt and kill large swaths of the population to allow them more land for the rest of the rabbits. They make monthly sacrifices of the most voluptuous and fertile female rabbits by tossing them off into the volcano creator. Unbeknown to them due to the frequency of this act the creator surface is now softened due to the plethora of rabbit corpses so each recent victims fall has been broken and many have survived and created their own sub-culture. They are permanently on-heat-females, who, on bi-monthly raids to villages adjacent to the volcano, select a males to use as a sex slaves and then sacrifice them to their God Joey. Any female offspring are kept and male ones are turned into kebabs. This group of rabbits formed the religious group of Joeism. Their raids into the neighbouring villages are an attempt to find males that best match their god’s, Joey, character and physical appearance. A whole genera of television series has been created to fulfill the religious needs of this group of female rabbits based in the creator of the volcano surround by corpse. The TV show is based around the daily life of their God Joey who lives in a loft in the Big Apple Core with his friends.

Most rabbits, especially as children, follow a very symmetrical white rabbit diety called ‘Iffy’. Icons of ‘Iffy’ can be frequently found adorning children’s pencil cases. The commandments of Iffy are:

1.          Thou shalt not be seen or heard
2.          Japanese small cats are never to be trusted
3.          Thou will engage in radical direct ecological action (due to intensive de-education at an early age most rabbits have no idea what this is) 
4.          Cute noises shall becometh thee

Bunnishism

Bunnishism is the main religion of the island. It is in decline and Americanssss rarely give prayers to Moon Lapis Goddess and Frank 2.1m tall apocalyptic rabbit  similar in standing to the devil any more.
Marriage

Americanssss fall in love and marry for life and produce as many off spring as rabbitly possibly. When five or more couples want to wed then a date is agreed upon and the joint wedding takes place. This is due to the fact that there is lots of interbreeding and it is difficult to ascertain who your actual family relatives are. By, making it a multiple wedding the whole community is involved and no one has to think to hard about who is related to whom. Also, there is no aisle, again to avoid questions as to who is on the brides’ side and who is on the grooms.

The bride dresses like Iffy, their childhood goddess. This can cause problems, as all the brides at the multiple wedding look very similar, if not identical. Many Americanssss have married the wrong bunny bride and lived long happy lives, with large litters
Family Structure

Rabbits form temporary tightly knit extended extended families that are only for about one to two years. Contrary to popular disbelief rabbits do not have sexual relations outside of the extended extended family.
Crime and Law Enforcement

If any rabbit commits a crime it is common practice for it to get into a car and drive at top speed. This then is a signal to law enforcement agents to engage the criminal in a high-speed car chase. This is normally filmed live and the rest of the inhabitants of America either; a. state that they know or are some how related to the offender b. know where the car is and go to an area where they think they might get onto the TV footage.

Due to intense paranoia about alien abductions each rabbit has now started to fit themselves with their own personal burglar alarm. In the 1970s burglar alarms were only imported so the alarm would often be larger that the rabbit itself. These alarms were considered to be the height of culture and many marriages have been arranged on the basis of the size and shape of a male or females burglar alarm. 
Rabbit detention and correctional facilities

Criminals are housed in a correctional facility, which is off the island on neighbouring territory of Spain. The military base is located in Malaga Bay. Spanish officials declare the base to be an illegal intrustion. The Americanssss have been writing and sending cheques to the Spanish Malaga chief treasurer. One of these cheques was cashed. The bunny invaders have decided that this is a clear indication of authorizing this Americanssss exclave. All subsequent cheques have been sent return to sender but keep ending up in Cardiff due to an irregular zip code anomaly.

Prisoners at Malaga Bay Detention facility have, allegedly been subjected to various forms of torture including extended periods of Watership Downing . This involves the inmates being forced to watch the film version of Watership Down which is so emotionally gut wrenching for the Americanssss they are filled with such an unfilliable hole that several have committed suicide.
Culture

Each rabbit family has a television and this is their main source of culture. Generally speaking rabbit popular TV reaches a cultural zenith when it is a rerun of a remake of a very old story that everyone knows the ending to and the ending is happy and all bad people die and no one has sex outside of marriage.

Americanssss are divided into two groups, which is not based on class or heritage, Americanssss with symmetrical ears and Americanssss without symmetrical ears. Some doctors on the island have modified rabbits to make their ears unsymmetrical it is impossible to do it the other way around. Symmetrically eared rabbits are considered to be slightly more important than asymmetrically eared rabbits.

Americanssss do drive but an extremely slow speed, as there is a cultural perception of the speed at which you travel has a direct correlation to how nice a person you are, the slower the better. Driving fast means that you get less sex and less Timothy Grass.
Bunny Law

Bunny Law is a process of judgment via televised appeals or cases where the viewing public decides using a red ‘guilty’ button and a green ‘not-guilty’ button on their TV remotes. Though most defendants are statistically declared ‘off’ ‘mute’ ‘standby’ and ‘rabbit porn channel’, these votes, presses are not counted. TV companies liaise with the police to identify test cases that are deemed in the public interest, ones deemed uninteresting normally involve the defendant being automatically released, though the evidence is kept on file. Decisions of guilt can vary more on the viewing time of the case as apposed to the actual evidence. Prime time for getting off and to be proven not guilty is around lunchtime, when nanny rabbits are watching TV for extended periods of time and are generally more caring. Cases where the defended is found not guilty generally take longer than hearings where they are found guilty, so decisions of guilt and non guilt are more about boredom levels of the viewer and their attention spans.
Food

There are large expansive quantities of Timothy-Grass. Los Warren is the capital of Mexican food. Beach bums eat large quantities of frozen lettuce.

Sports

The most popular sport in America is rabbit show jumping , followed by rabbit dressage. There are several teams that most participates belong to, though there are occasions of feral rabbit show jumping, but The Cloud Halo Council is trying to clamp down on these with little success.

Track and field sporting gatherings are also gaining increased popularity. The current world record for high jumping is 995 millimetres held by athlete Tösen  and long jump 3000 millimetres by Yaboo . The 100 metres hurdles has been repeatedly won by Boris Karloff with a time of 50 seconds.