Karma and the Coffee Shop (1842 words)

  It was nearly midnight when she pulled into the grocery store parking lot, she was exhausted and it had been a long miserable day. All she wanted was to make her purchases and get home to a good book and a night cap. But as luck would have it, the quick stop, turned into anything but that, when she ran into Jack Weeks. She wasn't proud to say she had once had a tawdry love affair with him, one that he had never quite gotten over, and one that she would do anything to forget.

  Hoping she had seen him before he saw her, she ducked down to maxi pad aisle. Surely whatever he was here to get, was not down the maxi pad aisle. She would just lay low until he was gone. But she could tell right away he was a man on a mission. There was no doubt he was looking for her. He’d probably spotted her car in the parking lot. Painting band aides over the scratches in the paint job had seemed like a good idea at the time, but it did nothing to help blend her into the crowd. She contemplated making a mad dash for the ladies room but he was between her and it and she knew there was no way she could make it without him seeing her, and even if she did, he would be waiting for her when she come out. Because, that’s just how he was. So, basically she was a sitting duck, and it was no surprise when he appeared at the end of the aisle, face all aglow as if he had just won the lottery. Her heart sank a little when he came plodding straight toward her.

“Damn” she mumbled under her breath, trying not to notice him.

With no other plan, she grabbed a box of maxi pads and threw them into her cart. Maybe if he thought she was on her cycle, it would stop the sexual innuendos before they started. She grabbed a box of tampons too, and three boxes of Midol, for good measure, and took a deep breath as impending doom, otherwise known as Jack Weeks sauntered up to her cart.



"So you're having your period" he said as if it were any of his business



"Hell of a conversation starter Jack; no one could ever accuse you of having tact."



She rolled her eyes, still not willing to make eye contact with the bastard, and hoped he would get the hint. But he just laughed as if it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard, which only pissed her off more. After what he put her through, how dare he laugh? How dare he ask her about her cycle? She flung her cart around and headed for the coffee aisle, whirling the cart around so fast that she almost hit him with it. Unfortunately for her he side stepped the blow just in time. She rounded the corner and glanced over her shoulder only to find him following her. She did her best to pretend he wasn’t there, while he jabbered away about something.



On the coffee aisle, she compared the prices on the different brands of coffee, and finally made her selection.



“You know the top shelf coffee is a better, stronger blend, love. It will pep you right up, and I like ‘em Peppy” he spouted.



Her blood, already boiling, verged on boiling over and it was all she could do not to pelt him in the head with the bag of coffee in her hand. She wanted to tell him, that maybe if he had come through with the job he had promised that she could afford the higher end coffee. But she didn’t, instead, she took a deep breath, counted to ten, and with all the restrain she could find within herself she calmly asked,



"Jack, don't you have anything else to do?"



"No love, the only thing I want to do is you, do you remember how good it used to be?"



"Jack what we had, was 10, freakin’ years ago, and a mistake. You need to go home!"





She hadn’t meant to sound so hateful, but she was proud of herself, it felt good to say at least some of what was on her mind. It felt good, until she saw the hurt look on his face. He looked like a kid who had just had his lollipop stolen. It was a side of him she had never seen before. Who knew that son of a bitch had feelings? But there they were, right there on his sleeve. He was genuinely hurt by her words, and she suddenly felt bad for him. As he walked away, head dropped, and shoulders slouched in defeat. Nothing like to confident, happy, man who had been annoying her just seconds before, and she couldn’t let it end like this; as much as she loathed him he deserved closure, which she had never given him. The words that came out of her mouth next shocked her.



"Jack, wait! How about a cup of coffee, No talk about us hooking up again, just a friendly cup of coffee, and a long overdue chat."



  It took all of two seconds for him to be back at her side grinning like the Cheshire cat, and she couldn’t help grinning back. As much as she had convinced herself she hated him, she should have been able to let him walk away, and she didn’t understand what had come over her. But his show of emotion had shocked and flattered her. Being a chunky, single, mother of four, it wasn’t everyday she had a man pay her so much attention, and she'd have been lying if she said she wasn't flattered.



"Sounds great" he said, rubbing his hands together and nodding, in a way that made her a little uneasy.

 

  He paid for her purchases, and even carried them out for her. Something was so different about him, she couldn’t put her finger on it, he wasn’t the cocky, arrogant, son of a bitch she remembered. But he still lied to her, and she was determined to hate him for it. They made plans for him to follow her to the coffee shop and she spent the driving time planning what she would say to him. She didn’t want to be hateful, that just wasn’t her nature, but she wanted make sure she got her point across, that she was done, and there was no chance of relighting that old flame.



“Not a snowballs chance in hell” she said out loud, slapping her palm against the steering wheel.



The coffee shop was empty except for the waitress, and a couple of love birds in a corner booth. The waitress brought them their coffee and biscotti, and went back to reading her romance novel, and there they were face to face sipping dark roast and waiting for the other to start the conversation. Planning out what she would say was not very helpful when it actually came down to the it. But she began.



“Jack, I’m flattered that you still want to see me, 30 pounds and 10 years later, but the past is better left in the past.”



Even as she said the words she had the realization that she was being a hypocrite, here she was all these years later, harboring resentment for something in the past. Her life hadn’t turned out so bad, she had gone back to nursing school, got a degree and got herself, and her children out of the gutter with no help from anyone. She sat a little straighter as she thought about how far she had come in the past ten years.



“I know what you think of me Jess, and I don’t blame you. I was a total ass to you. I didn’t appreciate you until you were gone. I live with that regret every day.”



She couldn’t believe her ears, was that an apology?



“Jack, we both knew our relationship was a business arrangement. I held up my end of the deal, and I hung on, the hope that you would come through, for way too long.”



He dropped his head and fidgeted with his fingernails. He was quiet long enough to consider it an awkward silence. But she wasn’t going to break the silence. She could sit in awkward silence all night, or at least until she finished her cup of coffee, if that was how long it took him to speak. She sipped her coffee with a casual confidence as fake as he had been.



“Is that really all it was Jess? If that’s all it was to you love, why do avoid eye contact with me now? Why didn't you let me walk away in the grocery store?”



  His questions caught her off guard, and she choked on the coffee she was sipping.



“What did you think it was Jack?  Did you think I loved you?  Did you think I was so stupid I would let myself fall for a married man, 20 years older than me? Jack you lied to me, you played me for a damn fool, and I took the bait, hook, line and sinker. How am I supposed to feel? Maybe everything you ever said to me was a damn lie.”



She knew she had said too much, but it was how she felt, and she wasn’t backing down. She wasn’t that girl anymore, and she wasn't letting him get the best of her again.



“Well then you lied to me too” He said, looking her straight in the eyes, “each time you told me you wanted to see me, each time I held you in my arms and told you I never wanted this to end, and you said you didn’t either. I could just as easily hate you for the lies you told me, but I don’t, I could never hate you, and if you hated me half as much as you tell yourself you do, then you wouldn’t be sitting here now.” His tone was harsh and she felt the color rising in her cheeks. She felt ashamed and unsure how to respond. Not knowing what to do next,she excused herself to the bathroom, to collect her thoughts. He was right about her. The woman looking back at her in the bathroom mirror suddenly seemed like a stranger. She wasn’t nearly the woman she had thought she was. She had used him every bit as much as he used her. She had been so caught up in her family’s needs that she had never considered his feelings, or even the fact that he had feelings at all. She owed him an apology. Pulled herself together, she went back to the table prepared to eat crow. But Jack was gone, and she was left standing in his shoes, 10 years ago, wondering where he was, and wanting to see him one more time to make things right.