Paradigm Shift for $28 Plus Tip

My ex husband and I had not been getting along as of late (not really shocking, but this spat was longer than usual) and he was on his way to get the kids for the weekend. All I wanted to do was go get my long overdue manicure and pedicure. So as I say good bye to my little ones, I jump in the car and drive about half a mile to the nail salon. I realized while en route that I was not entirely sure what time they close, but thought I remembered the norm being about 9:00pm. Well, it was 7:30 so I was right on time!

I park, walk in and there are a couple of clients just finishing up. The owner looks at me with that friendly smile she usually greets me with but instead of saying "mani/pedi"? She just asked if I wanted a manicure. I said, no manicure and pedicure please. She gives me a uncomfortable look without explanation and the 2 girls she has working there start laughing and talking in Spanish. I cant understand them so I immediately assume they are talking about me and begin to feel aggravated. The woman tells me to go pick a color and have a seat. I am decidedly uncomfortable now because everyone in the place is acting like they are all in on some inside joke and I am the only one not in the know. I do as I am told, get my color and sit in the chair. Now the owner is on the phone, speaking in Korean. I cant understand her so I immediately assume she is talking about me and begin to feel aggravated.

By this time I am putting 2 and 2 together, realizing that maybe 9 is not the close time. So I asked if I should go and come back another day, I didn't realize if they were closing. She said they close at 7:30 during the week but that they would take me anyway. "Of course they will", I thought. She needs every client she can get. Her business is likely struggling (in this economy especially) and I recall specific instances that I have witnessed her chase clients who walk out, tired of waiting, in an attempt to avoid losing their $20. I didn't envy her. In fact, I felt empathy for her. I am sure she is in that store 11 hours a day 6 days a week and barely making ends meet. She give me another smile, a forced smiled on her weathered face, but as genuine as she could muster for the umpteenth time that day I imagine.

There is one woman doing my pedicure and another doing my manicure simultaneously. They are the 2 whom were talking Spanish earlier when I walked in. They are continuing their foreign gaggling and the mani girl is ultra giggly. Seemingly oblivious to how rude they were being, I am getting increasingly more annoyed at the alienation I feel from their banter. I start to think about all of the reasons I would presume my life is better than theirs to recoup some of the pride I am losing by what I am sure by now is 15 minutes of giggling at my expense blatantly in front of my face that rationally, I could do nothing about. As they continue, I am now trying to determine if they are talking about me or their Korean boss who likely doesn't speak fluent Spanish. They don't seem to have much respect for her, and from the looks of it, their boss is well aware of their sentiment. She bustles about the store with a stern look on her weathered face, prepping for the business to open again in just 10 short hours.

Their conversation is interrupted by the pedi girl giving some gestures out the shop window. I gather her ride is here, but she isn't ready yet. Because I came in late. And the first thought that I have is what if this woman has a husband that picks her up every day from work because she doesn't drive. And let's say this husband works 12 hours a day at his respective occupation to make ends meet. Let's take it a step further and reduce that perhaps he is not the most patient soul to grace the earth. One thing on top of another, my arrival at closing time has put this woman in a position that could potentially cause a marital dispute, dreadful to even think but possibly even a physical altercation as a result of her tardiness.

I am all of a sudden humbled and embarrassed. I am horrified at my own thoughts of superiority from before. Who the hell am I to presume I am better than ANYONE? In fact, I live this truth and teach my children every day: You are better than nor less than any other. Yet, here I was contradicting a cornerstone of my moral values for the sake of foolish pride based on assumptions that were perhaps swayed by my already being not in the greatest of moods. The audacity I had to just expect them to stay open regardless of their intended close time. My complete disregard for their personal lives and time. Amidst my shame, I was overcome with a feeling of unity. I saw them as not strangers or disconnected individuals void of any common ground. I saw me in them and vice versa.

Although I am not proud of my internal reaction to this encounter, I am grateful for the experience. I am grateful for the reminder that regardless of circumstance- people are people. Its time we start to see each other this way instead of a world of "different than me". This is a world of one connection- the human connection. The sooner people start to see that with their hearts, the sooner we will see the devastating elements give way to greater way of being for all. Social structure can and will dissipate with the change of wills and the shifts of paradigms. And not by activists or politicians or celebrities either. By you. And me. Your neighbors, and mine. Their neighbors and families and friends of families and beyond. By each and every individual you have shared a common space with each day. The world is not full of strangers- it is full of friends you just havent met yet.