Him and Her

Holding the book in my hand I gripped the spine as I passed by the vulgarity of a boy with his hand up some girl's shirt. I waved hello to a friend passing by. A rush of people running by me. I turned and looked back, tugging on the hem of my loose fitting shirt, I checked to make sure no one was directly behind me. I was paranoid about my body, did I have a stain? Does my butt show in these pants? Do my boobs look small? All these questions whirl within my head. Reaching to the location I've been trying to get to, I walked to the back of the classroom and sat down. Only a few others were inside. I was waiting for him, and her. There is no him without her. She had hung the stars and the moon for all he cared. She was god, and he a lowly admirer. And what was i? I was a lonely fox in a mountain of snow gazing upward at him with eyes a glowed with awe and admiration. Finally he and she graced the room. She had a light in her eyes today. And he a look of contentment as he watched her from behind. Her pitch black hair, no lighter than mine shined in the florescent lighting. While I was sure mine hung limply on my shoulders. Her small nose and freckles sprinkled around her face seemed to give her an innocent appearance. I imagined him touching each one of those dark freckles with the tip of his fingers, and my heart burned with jealousy. Hello_ Hey_! I tried to hide my face of pain from them. My facade worked it seemed. They seated themselves to the left of me. They were once again absorbed in a conversation in which I was clearly not invited to. I tried to strike convocation. Ignorant of my loneliness he nor she didn't notice me. I felt like an ant trying to gain the attention of a king. She threw her head back from laughter, I followed suit with a small timid giggle. Façade's for me seem permanent for me. Always polite, always helpful, never selfish. In truth I wanted to take what was not mine. Like a bully in a playground. I tried (and failed) to engage him in a conversation but his attention was to the gods today. With a fake smile I joined as best I can with the topic of conversation between the two. I laughed robotically when needed. I gapped and awed when called for, even boo-ed and scowled when needed. All the while cursing myself for my cowardliness. Finally we stood to leave. My chance to talk to him. But alas, the admirer has his eyes on the god. So the lowly fox should just stay in the mountain of snow and long for warm springs and youthful summers, away from him and her.