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Rated: 13+ · Other · Satire · #1794865
short story about a fast food restaurant in hell---in progress
Stuart Logan was in hell. He wasn't surprised that he was in hell. A long history of embezzlement, inflating profits, and a little insider trading will do that to a guy. It did surprise him that he knew he was in hell and why he was there. When he paid attention to his surroundings, they looked more like his summer job in high school than like hell and damnation. Stuart noticed that he was in a good sized restaurant with red booths running along the walls and down two center aisles. The restaurant's light came from illuminated plastic flames that were hung above the booths. Stuart stood with several apparent newcomers to the "job.
While Stuart was noticing his new environment, a large red demon came to stand in front of the group. He introduced himself as Benny before starting his welcome speech. Benny was best described as a muscular cliche. His skin was dark red, and he had red horns protruding from the top of his head. As Stuart looked the demon over, he couldn't help but notice cloven hooves and, of course, a red tail.
Finally, Benny called the line of newcomers to attention. "Welcome to Burger Inferno, the most productive business in the entire Hades area. I'll begin by telling you a little bit about our history. The fast-food industry is, as some of you may have suspected, the invention of one of hell's most brilliant overseers. He was thinking about how much 20th century labor laws limited his ability to corrupt the higher-ups in businesses when he came up with the idea of an entire business sector that paid less than subsistence wages. He even began to imagine customers who paid money to clog their arteries. The rest of course is history."
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