I Think, I Ran

When it rains it pours.
When nothing is happening that simply means we are able to come up with feasible reasons as to why we don't have anything to do at the moment. But once the bubble bursts, everything happens at once. Or maybe this is only the way of it for some of us. Those of us who are more skilled at procrastinating, slowly but surely building up a dam of tasks that wait patiently for the gates to break. If so then what I am experiencing now is just a normal state of being, one which may prove overwhelming to the more orderly and proactive members of society.
Where to begin? A void seems the best option that springs to mind. Not in the tense of a state of nonexistence, but as an empty space. Seems appropriate since that is where you where before I started filling in said empty space. So we have our void. Now to fill it. Let's start with the easy bits. The wind, well it wouldn't be wind is I was stationary, but at the moment it is wind and as it whistles past my ears I hear faint sounds of traffic and human movement. Not on any singular level, but the low hum tens of thousands of humans make within a few city blocks. Nothing definable, but unmistakable none the less. Oh and the loud thump of my pulse, not just load but deafening as each beat pounds through my ears in time with the throbbing in my head. Strangely that is all, no rasping sounds of my breath as it rushes in and out of my exploding longs, and believe me I can feel each ragged gulp of air, I just don't seem to be able to hear it, but that isn't something I think I should be too concerned with now, as I am already stretching my resources enough.
Of my other senses there is the nothing more than some salty sweat dripping into my gasping mouth from time to time, the chill of the sweat as it evaporates in my hair or on my face. Something I may otherwise enjoy if I wasn't otherwise distracted by the crushing feeling in my chest as it strives to replenish lost oxygen with ever shrinking lungs. As the minutes pass my arms and legs are becoming less and less of an issue as they become heavier and deadened. But my vision, oh now there is something to behold. Maybe my mind has sped up, firing electrical pulses faster than before, allowing my eyes to see the world in such vivid clarity, its brilliance is almost distracting. Or I'm becoming delusional, oxygen starved and about to collapse. I guess I'll find out soon enough, unless I lose consciousness at the same time. Then it could take awhile. But that is neither here or there, for you at any rate, as any degeneration in my current lucid state will simply leave you with a partly filled void, and at best a mild curiosity. I, on the other hand, will have much bigger problems.
But let's get back to this vision I am currently experiencing. It is, I must confess, somewhat distracting. The most significant effect is that there is no motion. Vision as I understand it is our minds ability to interpret snap shots through our eyes, and by experiencing these in quick succession we perceive motion. Well right now I have the snapshots, and the quick succession, but motion has ceased. Each snapshot is clear, vividly coloured and crystal clear. Well at least I think it is. As best as I can tell my peripheral vision is as clear as my central focus. As a result I can see everything in front of me in super clarity, in solid still shots that hold their own position in time and space, and only marginally, but notably differ from their predecessor. You may think this could be disorientating, removing the body's natural sense of speed and balance by removing the perception of motion, and I guess in a way it could be, but only if you let it. I think the trick is to let go. Not to over think it, or try to correct it. Just run with it, which I am doing both physically and metaphorically at this point in time. And somehow the body knows how to adapt, as you would hope since it went and changed the rules of vision at such a crucial time.
Maybe this is what they truly meant by survival instincts. Maybe this is one of my bodies reactions to dealing with my current stress. Enhancing my vision and deadening the pain in my limbs to allow me to focus on the more important issues, like running like a bat out of hell. If this is the case however, then I now feel like I'm letting the team down a bit, as my physical state heightens it's physical capabilities to deal with the here and now, I'm off with the fairies. Well not that I think you're fairies as such, but who you are is not really relevant at this point.
It's funny, but at a time like this I would have expected hysteria, panic or ever terror, but now that I am in a real state of flight, I discover an inner strength. Like I said, 'when it rains it pours'. I can defiantly say that at this time I am pushing my limits, and yep, feeling the burn, well I did, but that's been removed by my bodies defensive mechanisms. And yet here I am, still running, navigating by instinct and taking time out to ponder my physical state. And what a state it is. With each step I feel more vital. Indestructible may be going a bit far as I know on an intellectual level that sooner or later I will need to rest and replenish my energy levels, but at this point in time, when I would have expected side splitting stitches, to the point of incapacitation, I have been blessed with an un-diminishing supply of energy.
Euphoria! That's the word I was looking for. I feel euphoric. Any passer-by may mistake it with madness I guess. But I can't help but laugh out loud. I feel like a new person. Who would have imagined I had the stamina or constitution for this. My vision has sped up so fast I can barely tell I'm moving, my body has adapted so naturally to my survival instincts I can scarcely feel my limbs, removing the muscle burn which must certainly be occurring, and now I feel so good I can't stop laughing. So much for fears I wouldn't be able to handle stress. I guess anyone who has never had to run for their life would have those fears, deep down. Like an untested safety mechanism, never wanting to know how well it will perform. Expecting the best of course, but bugged by this little voice of doubt. Well I don't have that voice anymore. I know! I am a machine! I am a powerhouse!
This is unbelievable, now I can feel my body entering a new state. I have pushed so far, and yet I can feel this change coming, like an inevitable event. Like the sunrise. Another laugh. It is close, and although I haven't been there before, I can sense its purpose. A state of constancy. I must have pushed through all my pain thresholds, to reach this. I will be able to run for days. Unstoppable, free and safe. I will neither want or need to stop, and yet I have already run for so long there is no chance pursuit will even be possible now. My efforts so far will have served their purpose, and maybe it would be wasteful to use my new found abilities at this point. Actually it would probably be wise of me to recuperate a little, right here, on this, stairway, step, , , .