Suicide with Dignity

I lost my brother and best friend to suicide. This makes me an expert in the feelings of those left behind.  It makes me an authority on the bewilderment you feel when trying to make sense of it all. When you put his life on paper and analyze it closely, suicide simply doesn’t make sense. The cliché “he had so much to live for” and “he left us too early” are the truest of statements.  Yet, on my strongest of days, I am able to say that what we saw must not have been anything compared to what he felt and that alone makes it impossible for me to take responsibility of any of it.

I have a friend who I grew up with and can honestly call family. Though she is closer in age,  over the years I kept in closer contact with her younger sister.  Over a twenty year span, we may have kept in touch once or twice a year but in my heart of hearts, it was like talking to my younger sister. She was always upbeat, always in a good mood. Always smiling and laughing which in turn, always made me want to make her laugh.  We lost her to suicide not too long ago and even though I felt very close to her, I am not family. Yet, I consider myself an expert, along with her family and friends, on the feelings of those left behind with unanswered questions.

I tell that to say this.  Those who believe in pro-life and speak out against suicide and assisted suicide, in my opinion, have no right to these decisions. Why? Because the only one proficient enough to make the decision to commit suicide is the decision maker.  NO ONE ELSE can make that assessment which means no one else has the right to deny the result.  I have chatted with a few personal friends about this who have taken the pro-life stance and I have found that all of them have the same common answer. They feel that the person committing suicide puts an unjust hurt on those loved ones he leaves behind. I have sincerely tried to look at this conclusion without closing my mind to it and I have to be honest with you. That is by far the most selfish thing anyone can say about this topic.

You mean to tell me that no matter how much pain this person is in, medically or emotionally, you would rather see them stay alive and deal with the pain, only because you don’t want to deal with your own personal pain of losing them. That is called “SELFISHNESS TO THE THIRD POWER”.  It offends me to think that I would have a friend who “loves me” enough to want me to deal with pain so severe I want to kill myself, so they they don’t have to deal with mourning me.  I hope I don’t have any of these friends.  I hope the friends that I do have want what is best for me as I want what is best for them.

I hope this drums up debate, both within this blog but also within your mind. I hope that you don't mistake my understanding of suicide as a birthright to do so. I hope you take from this that suicide is a horrible means to an end but again the decision is not ours to make.  I hope you talk to those around you and debate this topic and see what you come up with. I hope you educate me on either side of this topic for I could be wrong, although I know I’m right. And most important, although the topic of the day isn’t a popular one or an uplifting one, I hope you have a spectacular day.