The Town Unheard Of

Please stay on the road. In fact I think it would be better if you did an illegal U-turn and went back to wherever it is you're coming from. Yes, that'd definitely be in your best interest. I strongly advise you not turn off of the Memorial Highway and venture onto the side roads. Just pay the $4 toll and surpass the speed limit by going 120km/h. Try anything in order to keep from going where you're not even wanted anyway. Stay off of Highway 2 is basically what I am trying to tell you. Keep your eyes open when going by Stewiacke especially. If you're stupid enough to stop then when you're done doing whatever it is you need to do get out of here. Do not keep going towards Brookfield. Don't take the exit off the main highway up onto the Brookfield Dean Rd. Keep heading towards Truro.

'Cause people that live just off the winding roads and all through the hills that have always been there and they do not appreciate being bothered. They've been how they are for a very, very long time and I don't think they'd like it if you intruded onto their land in your Honda Civic or whatever the hell it is you people drive nowadays.

It may be a wise idea to teach your children of the boogeyman. Try to bring back and reawaken the old fear. Go to any lengths to keep them away from the rotting valleys and off the old mountains. Lock the cars doors and roll up the windows. Do not give into the tempting cool, country air.

Remember this all when you're in Stewiacke and you walk into the Petro Canada or into the Ho lucky Restaurant and see everyone smiling, remember that they all know. When you see the signs and learn of the town in behind the tourist attractions remember that it’s all just decoration. While you watch the broken family and their annoyed teenagers attempting to rekindle the "happy family feel" by playing mini golf and when you see Canada's version of Mexican cuisine and over-priced chicken come together. While seeing all of that I want you to remember that each one of the people around you knows of what I am telling you now. And once you leave and there is no one left to pretend for they will go back to doing whatever it is they do.

Look over there! Do you see the minivan turning down Highway 2? I could have stopped her and saved her life but instead I stood here explaining it to you. So I hope you are grateful and do not waste your life. Don't let that young lady die for nothing.

Just be cautious next time if you must come here and do not dilly-dally. For maybe even I am one of them or maybe I am not and I am just a kind stranger who is just trying to do an ignorant person a favour.

Now that we understand each other I hope you have a nice day and please enjoy the various activities Stewiacke has to offer. Just when you're done please do what I ask and never come back.