Being Strong- more of a curse

It has been 17 years now that I have taken the tensions and secrets of others .Only that as time is progressing it's getting even harder .I have never shown my tears or fears to anyone  .Its all nature, can't change it even if wish to.

          When I was small, around 4 years, I found out that I was the unwanted child of the family . I used to try a lot to be cute and affectionate and extraordinary so that everybody would love me. And guess what,- I got it but not the real me. That real me has vanished somewhere in the darkest part of my heart where there is nothing except deadly silence and a vacuum created by my fake world.

        The only person who loved me, even before I began this drama of life, was my sister.I was more of her baby than my parents .I never shattered in my life just because of her. But guess what with time she has grown into my baby. I feel so contented when I hear her laugh and when she sounds happy and healthy. You must be wondering that why I am using the word hear rather than see- oh well that’s because she is married now and I hardly see her.

        Its not that I don't want someone to console me when I am sad or tensed it's just that I can't tell anybody.And everybody around me is so busy in themselves to take a notice of me except the time they need me to share their things.But now my head aches whole day long and so does my heart.I don't know how far I can go with this huge load  but as  long as I can I will because I know God has made me to make others feel better.







  All I want is to make others know that:

                      "THE STRONG PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY THE ONE WITH THE WEAKEST HEARTS

                                THEY ARE JUST GOOD AT MAKE-UP TO HIDE THE UGLY PART OF THEIR LIVES."