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by Advent Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ · Script/Play · Comedy · #1776160
The first episode of a web series I have been working on.
INT. MATT’S LIVING ROOM - DAY
Matt (20’s intellectual, clean) sits in his plain apartment flipping through a popular mechanics magazine. Door opens - Toby stands in doorway.
Toby (20’s gullible, witty)
TOBY
Hey what’s up?
MATT
(Still reading)
You didn’t knock.
TOBY
So what you have like one person over and it’s always me.
Matt stops reading.
MATT
What if I thought you were a burglar and I attacked you.
Toby laughs.
TOBY
Yeah that’s a good one. And I could see how quick you were to react to me walking in.
MATT
What you don’t think I could take care of myself?
TOBY
You taking care of yourself is like a Nazi at a Jewish convention. It isn't gonna’ happen.
MATT
Now I think I could defend myself just fine. I have a bat in the house you know.
TOBY
Yeah and that thing has seen more baseball than ass kicking. I’ll be sure to let the local criminal underground know to watch out.
Matt continues reading.
MATT
Very funny. Now I’m sure you didn’t come over to talk about my baseball skills so why are you here?
Toby steps inside.
TOBY
I was wondering if you could help me out with something.
MATT
I’m busy.
TOBY
Doing what? You’re just reading a magazine.
MATT
Well then I guess I’m busy reading a magazine now aren’t I?
TOBY
Yeah, a boring fucking magazine.
MATT
Fuck you. There’s some interesting things in here if you actually read the articles.
TOBY
Yeah there’s some interesting stuff in playboy too but you still wont catch me reading the articles.
MATT
How mature.
TOBY
Come on man, it will only take a second. Your stupid magazine isn’t going anywhere.
Matt puts down the magazine.
MATT
What is it you need help with?
TOBY
Just something I need help with across town.
MATT
You’re not trying to bring me to your dealer are you?
TOBY
Now who’s the funny man. It’s just this thing I gotta do.
MATT
Well why do you need me?
TOBY
It’s a two person job and You’re the only friend who can help me.
MATT
You mean I’m your only friend.
TOBY
Touche’. Can you come help me or not?
MATT
Yeah why not.
Matt get’s out of his chair.
CUT TO:
EXT. CITY STREET - DAY
Matt and Toby exit the apartment building and onto the sidewalk and begin walking.
TOBY
Thanks for helping me man.
MATT
This better be worth it.
TOBY
It’s not like you were swamped back there.
MATT
Well excuse me for enjoying the past time of reading.
TOBY
Yawn. Why can’t you enjoy something fun like Xbox or porn?
MATT
You’re so repressed.
TOBY
So my therapist keeps telling me.
MATT
So what do you need help with anyway?
TOBY
It’s a surprise.
MATT
Oh god it better not be some street vendor ready to knock me out and cut out my organs for you to get some extra cash.
TOBY
You act like I think you would fall for that a second time. I’m not stupid you know.
MATT
So you keep telling me.
TOBY
I gotta’ make a stop and pick something up before we get there.
MATT
Please tell me it’s not a gun.
TOBY
Real mature.
CUT TO:
INT. FLOWER SHOP - DAY
Toby leads Matt to the counter.
MATT
What are we doing here?
TOBY
(To the clerk)
Hi I’m here to pick up my order for Tobias.
The clerk grabs a flower bouquet from behind the counter and hands it to Toby.
CUT TO:
EXT. CITY STREET - DAY
Toby and Matt exit the flower shop and continue walking.
MATT
Okay now this you’re going to have to explain.
TOBY
Do I now?
MATT
Why do you need a bouquet of flowers? I really hope you’re not dragging me to some double date with a girls ugly friend.
TOBY
Man do I have to explain everything to you? You never let anything be a surprise.
MATT
Not when most of your surprises leave me fearing for my life.
TOBY
Oh yeah? And how many times has that actually happened?
MATT
Ten.
TOBY
Oh don’t be such a baby.
MATT
Well I have to admit the flowers have me a little less worried.
TOBY
See you’ll be fine. What’s the worst that could happen?
MATT
Well I better not regret listening to you.
TOBY
Trust me this is awesome.
MATT
I hope you’re right.
CUT TO:
EXT. CITY STREET - DAY
Toby and Matt stop in front of a building.
TOBY
We’re here.
MATT
What is this dump? Are we meeting the center for disease control?
TOBY
Come on.
Toby enters the building. Matt shakes his head and follows.
CUT TO:
INT. SECOND FLOOR HALLWAY. - DAY
Toby is opening a lock on a door in a dirty hallway. Matt enters.
MATT
I thought you said you weren’t selling my organs?
Toby get’s the door open and steps inside. Matt follows.
CUT TO:
INT. APARTMENT LIVING ROOM - DAY
Matt and Toby are standing in a trashed apartment.
TOBY
Welcome home roomie.
Matt is shocked.
MATT
What did you do?!
TOBY
I rented my own apartment. No more sponging off of my family. I was hoping you would join me as my roommate.
MATT
Did they film a Saw movie in here? There’s no way I’m moving in this shit hole.
Brooke enters. (20’s gorgeous, party girl) Stands behind Toby and Matt.
BROOKE
Ah so you’re here is this your roommate?
Matt and Toby turn around. Matt’s jaw drops.
MATT
Yes. I’m the roommate.
Toby holds the flowers towards her. Brooke looks confused.
End of episode 1.
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