My Guardian Angel

By Lorna Campbell

Many a night I’d sit
Embracing in temptation,
Could the wrath of the devils mitt,
Compare to this starvation.
The poisoned smoke that tightens my lungs,
Or a heart too heavy to hold,
Complex decisions that speak in tongues,
But leave me standing cold.
The life I lead is not by choice,
But a calling from the Lord,
To be set free and ever rejoice,
My plea of love not sword.
On hearing that of howling wind,
And relentless driving rain,
All the time of which I’d sinned,
My mind in turmoil; heart in pain.
Then appeared she like a vision,
And all fears in me fled,
But the warmth remained without derision,
Yet my love for her cannot be said.
In my eyes an angel-so pure of face
With tender lips that speak beauty,
And sweet smile of grace,
But my Love for her can never be.
In knowing my hand will never be held,
Nor my heart fulfilled with her love,
How can I flee from this vicious weld?
And set my heart free like a dove.
For I can only worship the Lord,
And retain my spiritual place,
Yet I found myself ignored,
And entered a state of mace.
The cord once crossing my robe around,
Untied itself from me,
And once or twice the cord it bound,
The tiny throat of she.
Gently but slowly her eyes did close,
As the life is drawn from she,
He brings her near - forever He knows,
A greater love she now shall see.
Her face - a pink rose in bloom,
Now changed to the white of an orchid,
Her breathing remains no more in the room
Yet the beauty within stays constant not hid.
Under the stars I sit with she,
And stroke her silk-like hair,
What I – a priest do for love of thee
Yet God forgives me in my prayer.