here again

And here I am again in the very same dark place I was just five years ago... no real growth beyond the physical. Ive lived a life full of expectations yet disappointment has been the follow up to that. Desire verses reality... never thought I see the day that it would come to head,form words into sentences and escape from my throat.. I see it now I was blinded by the light of hope instead of listening to the voice of actuality in the darkness that I'd left behind. This is my fate I was never meant to leave this place. I fled to free myself from the hate I so desperately believed I deserved. A shell of a person who can I turn to help me feel whole again... my reflection gives me little hope that I can accept responsibility for that.