Skepticism

For so long I tried to express myself, ending up expressionless,
trip down staircases, revert to crutches, a weary feeling,
holding grudges against judges mumbling a whole lifetime in a mere 20 minutes,
determined to build bridges, wench together an icy glare,
clarity has been shoved under the rug, served the burnt muffin,
rubbing my eyes after handling chili peppers, biting on stale ginger snaps,
eruptions from volcanos covering the grounds, portraits on the walls shaking from earthquakes,
falling to shatter the glass a scattered mess,
a temptress upset her framework has been ripped,
her artwork has been disturbed, her lover showed up late and didnt say a word,
She feels a lack of affection, her heart a pound of salt in frigid cold this is absurd?
My mind is a buzzing insect, dipped in a pale of lacquor thinner and insecticide,
real demons might just taunt me to my delight,
read me my rights, i love my frail queen shes a diamond find,
worthy to kiss you, crippled and malignant,
beauty shriveled up in it,
I feel a draft in the air, the windowpane is leaking moisture,
feeling boisterous and endorsing politicans garb,
like its trademarked, watch the celebrities with their glam,
flip the stations on the tv and end in a rant,
full of mirrored love, florescence dipped in mud,
inactive yet found in a rut, a dumb nutcake, a toothfairy baked in sherry,
toppled with a rarity that reeks of vulgarity exposing her thong
feel like im going to throw up on your face
make it pretty, a tragedy of rotting edibles regurgitated on your dinner table,
happen to laugh at that,
im happy to give you a magnet so please stand back
and dont have a heart attack,
keep yourself enclosed in a trap,
where the transvestite lurks, and the exoskeleton murmurs vague speeches,
write a seminar on the diseases, jot down my jetlag feel in my derailed skit,
a skillful ignorance, rain patting down into my eyelids,
caressing me with gentle liquid, this girl sits under the orchard tree,
and winter comes to quickly, I feel a tragedy, lurking in her family,
worse than that its her whole matrimony thats gone downhill,
shes phased out and demanding affection, but shes a trainwreck thats spaced out
and lost in a labyrinthine of sensation, feeling the ocean waves
on the beach shoreline, comes up on my toes and i feel her a little too close,
kiss her wet lips and keep her warm and smiling,
if she doesnt smile its defling, cause i failed.
illness creeps up when i dont expect it,
theres no android who injects antidotes, sadly its a void of beauty,
a veil creeping in like a misty feeling from the purple sky in the eve,
a train derailing, a bimbo crying, raindrops patting down on the windows,
wine glasses chipped and my brainmatter skipped a important note,
who am i to your glamorous demise? this is a good night to
crash asleep, i see your face weeping, no memory left i'm too deviant,
madly in love with miss scott, someday i hope? she is a wonderful girl.
my love is no drug like substance, it is a soft caring controlled mist,
bottled together without tension but destiny, a recipe of sensitivity,
and vague from my own confusion,
board a train to a city thats been abandoned,
voted president, i feel irrevelant to a ghost town,
malevolent and yet i love you, tomorrow.
Tomorrow is my chance. tonight I will not dance or laugh in your face,
or spit in disgrace, but i'll swindle your beauty and cough up the vanity,
cause its everywhere its sweeping you down into quicksand,
live in a trench of representatives from the government of emptiness,
happy to conspire a determined liar, hunt the innocent,
predestined love, uninspired, temptress glares at me,
through the glass in the aquarium tank, her hair smells like maggots,
her breath is rank, i cant believe it stank so bad it made the maid
vomit even her teeth, she shook her head in disbelief,
unhinged the feeling of not knowing, unpredictable events thrilling,
yet unwilling to attent the funeral at the end, unsure how to defend my
blitz of radical erratic sketches, demented ignorance,
splitting brain tumors on rockingchairs, damn the confusion of it
I desire to admire your lyre you play before you go psycho and be a transsexual
or end up in a tomb or a grave with no name, or have a lover tie you up and choke you up,
laugh at your pathetic composure, its like a rose been stomped on,
a angel with a deformed facial issue that he cant deal with,
feel illbred? feel mutated? look at my name its radiant with fake valiant recipe,
awakened to find a note that says 'goodbye life, i love you misery"
what is this tragic vomit? on the windowsill I gaze out
and see a trace of a maze thats like carbonized and in a haze,
the secret is gazed apon yet never held up or stamped down,
its forgotten and beguiled in a sick tomb deep within,
a womb bleeding out organs, playing violent games,
what does that mean? why is this all nonsensical and not meaningful?
Why bother bothering.
I know I am guilty of contraband.
laughing at your shipwrecked love attempt,
you call that beauty when its poised to seek sex?
what a slime bucket of pathetic trash thats been tampered with
its contracted a illness that has a trust fund that makes no sense
stand on my head and stomp out the poison like the oil
seaping in, harbor hatred and laugh at the waitress,
having panic attacks laughing at your radiant eyes,
that euphoric sense, aching, i'm making close to the waking,
an aromatic baseline, entrammeled with edginess,
ambience and magenta rocks, slam dance,
popsickles taste like sugar cones of icicles,
driving bicycles down the street to ride alone,
driven to stargaze of beauty but ultimately conceive the perfect love story,
have a nice candlelight dinner at night outside,
with the fire flies, and the cool breeze, feel so alive,
I love this life, happy new years im drunk as hell,
trapped in a broken ship, sinking still,
inevitable nightmares no more though..
laughing at you. i'm laughing. I am hysterical
of your hysteria. Your Hilarious. You Make me serious?
You wrack your brains to understand this,
cram a thousand rings on your hand to claim your heart,
but you heart still beats in a sea of sickness,
so who cares its all fun and games til the blood is stained,
till your name is called and your game is run for your life,
i laugh at this nonsense. cause im bored.
and cant study. and someone will read this and be like this sucks