Lost Without a Best Friend

It's been nearly four years since I've heard the cantankerous tone of your voice. Your face, always in a scowl singed only in my memory. Sometimes refreshed by the stalking I do of you on the internet. I've yet to meet anyone who would fill in your shoes. My former maid of honor. I'm not even engaged for you to have quit your duties so soon. You have died in my physical world and exist only in my dreams. How I've missed thee.

You still live and breath and exist, but have been erased from my world. You live only four blocks in the city of a Small World, yet I will never again chance upon you. My map has erased your apartment door, replaced by a large long rectangular hole. I run in my dreams to your home and fall deep within its hole. Like the little girl who chased the rabbit I spiral and flip and find abstract memories of us. Memories long distorted by my intentions to forget you. How you have grown in fantasy for me.

I never find you, you marvelous creature, I can only catch glimpses of your giant form. Thus I create you bigger, yet elude me you manage still. My eyes grow weary as I search and search. Nothing in my imaginings can compare to the actual scowl of your face. I am too cheerful to recreate accurately the quiet rage, of the tone of your voice. You are always a silent star in my dreams. I replace your words, with praise for me. Ah! How you love me.

The love possessed for me by you is compared to nothing else if by my love for you possessed in me. All commas excluded! Nobody puts baby in a corner.

I do not sleep at night no more, obsessive only of your images. I fly and swirl through the winds and swirls in the wind of mind. No closer am I to making you real. No realer can my mind get, without the wrath of God to set me straight. How terrible I feel, down to my very loins, your absence. I seek for thee behind bricked doors. I sneeze away rabbits of dust, in search beneath my bed for you. Where have you gone?

Am I never to be forgiven? How petty you are. You raise my temper in passion, and I raise my pen in paper, to quiet your ravaging of my mind. I will etch your name on paper and free my mind of your curse. I will paint your lovely face on every picture that I draw. I will rip away the bits of soul you have discarded in me, and will remain soul-less. For you have stolen my own. I will scab from the inside and never heal. And forever I will bear your mark.

Stop this pain, I beg of thee, and please just come and see me. It will be just like the happy times. The black and white etches of memory scorching to forget you. Put out this maddened fire, and come make me happy again. I will make you. I will realign my loyalty and dedicate it all to you. I will hug and forgive all your sin, and prithee to forgive mine too. Let's be friends again, like we once use to do.