Drowning A Fish

Drowning A Fish

November 9.

I remember dreaming about this day. Praying that it come. But now, i only wish it would be over. I went through the practices over and over again, knowing them like the back of my hand. She said it would be just like it is in her office, i strongly disagree. I'm not generally a pessimisti person, really. though there are things that are just not possible. I told her i was ready, she didnt notice the tears in my eyes as she reached for her brief case. I followed her all the way to these two huge wooden doors. They were at least 10ft tall. Probabley made to scare the defendent or something. But as Mrs. Walter went to open the door, i could feel the hairs on my back stand up. Unintentionally,, i grabed her rist. She pulled her arm away from the golden door knobs. "You're going to do fine." she told me, patting my back with her free hand. I couldnt understand how she was so sure. I took at deep breathe in. I can do this, i told myself. I keep repeating that, though it didnt help. As we enter through the doors there were probabley about a 1000 eyes on me. But i didnt see any of them, i stared only at the floor as i walked up to were a man dressed for a wedding sat. I looked up at him, there was a grin on his face, but i had no idea how he could be happy right now. I raised my hand up, And said my name "Jane Elizabeth Mattews" followed by a few other things we practiced. I sat in a chair, high above everyone else's. My head stared down at my hands that were squeezed tight together. I slowly looked up having my eyes drawn straight to him. My heart started to beat faster and faster. My hands started to sweat. The jury could see the fear in my eyes. I was about to live my painful past once again.