oh lizard!

As I stare at the ceiling,
Seeing lizards eating the insides of other insects
I can’t help but indulge in some wishful thinking.
I wish life could be much more simpler, and less complex.

I wish to go back to the time I was young,
When all I did was eat, cry, and urinate anywhere.
And when I got mad, I’d stick out my tongue,
Running around, breaking all the chinaware.

Recently, I turned nineteen.
And I can’t accept the fact that,
I’m living my last year of being a teen.
Don’t tell me, I know, I’m not a baby, I’m not a brat!

But can you blame me?
I’d rather go back to the womb of my mother.
I wish mommy and ‘him’ never sat down under the mahogany tree,
And sun their whole world the wrong way together.

I wasn’t supposed to be born,
It was a mistake that I survived.
But they chose for the pregnancy to go on,
So I was born, kicking and alive.

I don’t remember much of my childhood,
Except that it was a lonely one.
I was over-protected, one could conclude,
But I often escaped o have some fun.

As I grew and grew,
I learned some vices, shenanigans or so.
But I couldn’t dare o be untrue,
To a family who has watched and made me grow.

And so I do my best in everything,
Giving all that I could afford to lose.
And I kept on trying and achieving,
Chasing away my family’s blues.

Now here I am, wishing I was never born,
Just because I can’t stand the pressure anymore.
I’m afraid, I’m tattered, and I’m torn.
I don’t want to fail; I want to give them much, much more…

So I guess, I’ll just have to do my best,
And not mind the throb in my chest.
I’ve got loads of work to do.
And though sometimes I get tired too;
For my family, I’ll repay you in my own simple way.
I don’t know where I’m going but I’m on my way.

Oh, Lizard! Lucky you!