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Rated: 13+ · Other · Other · #1766991
Massive rant... as usual
Why do movies, books and songs have to disappoint me so?
They tell storied of men who either have mystery or desire or passion.
But really, all the men I go for are either fucked up to a state beyond repair or just complete dicks that its impossible to form feasible relationships with them!
Honestly?!
This new guy I've met, yes I knew he was fucked up when I first met him, he wasn't really happy to start of with, but when he broke up with his girlfriend he was just so broken you couldn't even tell there was a man underneath the black misery that seemed to have formed around him.
And now? A month down the line, he's still the same.
After all the things that has happened between us. He's still the same. Of course I don't expect him to get over his two-year-ex-girlfriend in a matter of days. But you'd think he's improve... right?
I mean come on! I know he's depressed, I know this because he told me he tried to kill himself, and that before he met me, he was thinking of trying again, so surely, if he has stopped himself because of me, that means I'm some sort of importance in him life, right?
So, why the constant playing with my heart?! Which he clearly knows he's doing! Why the drinking 24/7?! I have actually refused to buy him alcohol now!
He thinks it's funny, that I refuse to buy it him. But he has no idea how serious I am!
I'm not letting another man in my life go down the shitter due to alcohol abuse!
No fucking way!
One fucked up man in my life is good enough thank you very much, I don't need my best friend addicted too!
And then he thinks it's funny to ignore my texts, my calls, to yell at me for talking about my life to people I know! That when he finds out I have said something about him to my friends, he goes ballistic and says things that happen between us should stay that way. It's my fucking life too! If I want to tell somebody I went over to his house, I will, if I want to tell somebody I kissed him, I will.
Let him be pissed at me, I don't care.
And the worst bit?! He's denying anything is happening between us too. Either because he doesn't want people knowing (his excuse) or he's just ashamed his forgery of love has been exposed for what it really is!
I don't expect things to be simple, they never are, but surely everyone knows that sleeping with someone, holding their hand, and saying, I quote "I'm glad I have you" is sort of implying you like someone! Am I wrong?!
So bullshit when he says he doesn't know how he feels!
Oh and the best bit, right, he says he wants a relationship without love, to know what it's like. So what? You're gunna go out with a girl for the hell of it? Are you a fucking idiot!? When she finds out all that is, she's gunna de distraught! Never mind the fact I will be pissed as hell if he does go out with someone!
OH my fucking god! Why the fuck is he so fucking... man-like!?!?!
And yet... I can't stay away...
© Copyright 2011 Madeline Monroe (heart-vacancy at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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