love sick

It started out as me and you
Then i was in form two
As i stood by the stairs and watched you downstairs
I gave my heart to you
You looked up at me and as our eyes met
Butterflies fluttered in my belly
And i held my breathe as the world paused
Before me and i could only see you
Then you smiled and waved,i was about to
Wave back when i saw her call your name from behind and ran down to meet you
I was only nine but i could feel a pang of jealousy rising within me
But done was done

You were everything to me
Although i never existed to you
Every time i saw you,the world ceased to exist
My troubles disappeared before my eyes
My brain turned to mush
And my feet to jelly
For a second i would think it is just us
And then i would see her pop her head as if coming into my vision
And i would get so jealous and walk away

Days turned to weeks,weeks to months and months to years
We finally graduated,i at thirteen and you at seventeen
For the years at high school,we never spoke not once
I believed you were just a fantasy,a little girl's dream
How wrong i was
You popped into my life
Relationships and turned them scandalous
You betrayed my trust by being an hindrance
I loved you in my subconscious but i refused to believe it
I had trials
But they failed,three times,yet they failed
they were not you,
No one is you
I searched for you but i could not find you
You were lost forever so i chosed to let go

Now i am sixteen
Searching for love
I seek and yearn for one,but when i find i turn away scared of a heartbreak
You broke my heart and now i am too scared to give out my heart
It lies with you,in your hands
Please give it back

I finally found you
On facebook
After years of furious searching
I got your number now
But i am too scared too call,
I fear you will hang up on me.
After eight years of unreplenished love
I do not seem to get my love life straight
Am i still living a child hood fantasy or am i
SIMPLY LOVE SICK