..... chling a ling .....

..... chling a ling .....


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i am amazed ...

of how people are totally unaware ...

of their surroundings ....
...............................................

it's time to go to costco ...

my eye glasses are in ...

and i need to stock up ...
...............................................

i get there ..

show my card ...

and enter ...

i pick up my eye glasses ...

then the fun begins...
...............................................

the battle of the huge shopping carts ...

it's like some kind if video game ...

or board game ...

if you that old ...
...............................................

you start the game ...

by picking out a shopping cart ...

making sure ...

all the wheels are working properly ...

i have even seen people ...

bring tool kits ...

and oil cans ...

to prep their carts like a pit crew...

they must be into nascar ...

next ...

avoid the carts that are ...

full of discarded sample cups ...

the food samples they give out ...

are the only reason to go to costco anyhow ....

it's a free lunch ...
...............................................

ready set ...

go ...

your on you're way ...

the one who fills up the cart ...

and makes it to the check out counter wins ...
................................................

but then ...

it happens ...

the road to your fulfillment is blocked ...

the first obstacle ...

is encountered ..

you have only gone thirteen feet ..

and a family of nineteen ....

stops the admire something ...

and pauses to discuss its worth ...

that will take half an hour ...

in the mean time ...

they have totally block the isle ...

cart traffic is backing up ...

a women faints from exhaustion ..

and the ems is brought in ...
................................................

but, this is only the first of many ....

there will be more than you can count ...

by the time you will reach the check out ...
................................................

for many reasons ..

unknown to the brightest minds on earth ..

people will stop ...

clogging up isle after isle ...

for no apparent reason ...
................................................

no matter how hungry you are ...

not even if you are starving to death ..

avoid the areas where ...

the sample ladies are stationed ...

it is the sargasso sea of costco ...

where many families have been lost for weeks ...

it's a night mare of jumbled shopping carts ....

where people will stand for hours ...

waiting for what ...

those tasty little samples that ...

come out of those little toaster ovens ...

when the little oven door opens ...

they gang up upon ...

those poor helpless sample ladies ...

like ravenous zombies ...

devouring every thing in sight ...

even those poor ladies ...

reducing them to nothing but bone ...

it's the most hazardous and thankless job ...

known to exist ....

mike rowe .. of the dirty jobs t.v. show ..

ran crying from costco ...

after attempting to work the sample station ...

(when ever i take a sample ...

i say thank you, "your doing a great job" ...

read that past story) ....
.................................................

being one ...

not to take the challenge lightly ...

of the gantlet that is shopping at costco ...

i have devised a plan of attack ...

to part tides of carts ...

that hinder my shopping abilities ....

it involves a simple devise ...

the bicycle bell ...

known well to children ...

no, i didn't buy it at costco ...

using my great skills of craftsmanship ...

i altered the devise by cutting off the bottom ...

and attaching a velcro strap to it ...

this would allow me to position it ...

on the handle of the cart ...

making it easy to use ....

and take home ...

now ...

whenever, i encounter a isle troll ...

it can be dispatched with ease ...

so, next time your at costco ...

beware ...

i'm ready for you ...

you'll know i'm there ...

when you hear ...

chling-a ling ...

chling-a ling ...

chling-a ling ...
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