Like Paying for Air

Im somewhere between what saves me and what scares me.

As you grow older your shadow grows with everything you’ve experienced. The older you get you realize the fewer things you really love.. But when something like that comes along it’s enough to make your heart stop, and steal your soul.



This is so wrong, like making people pay for the air that they breathe, or else the choke themselves on the stale air we all breathe filled with all the cruel lie’s and the cruelest of thoughts.. What has society come to, something we must change or discard after every day? Life is really just a boring song but everyone’s stuck singing along. All I taste anymore is the blood between my teeth. It’s time for change, im ready for it. Are you?



Once I could have lived my life off the sum of a thousand lies, pretending I didn’t know at all. But now I’ve left that lie behind me too, burning what was left of my past, it’s the only true way to forget what’s really happened. I looked up into those eyes and realized it was time I forgot. I opened my eyes to your and let in what I used to be afraid of. Now it’s your turn. Maybe this time I don’t have to be afraid.



You’ve done me so much wrong, and then when I say im going to walk away you act like none of it ever happened. It did, and I will never forget it. It’s gotten so much easier to breathe without you, and it lets me know it was all worth it. You never thought id go and it took you so off guard it was more like a knife to the heart than just a simple goodbye. But you deserved It. you truly did. And im almost sad to say, that im so much happier. Happier than I have ever been. I never needed you to guide me never needed you to keep me afloat. I can smile again that’s what’s most important. Not how you feel, not how anyone else feels but myself anymore….. Right?



I am the lone tree in the snowy field.. I am the missing element to the table.. im an empty journal waiting for my pages to be written.. I am a sail waiting for my breeze. Maybe this time it’ll come along and I can finally be on my way. It’s true because im starting to trust again, im not alone, the pen has been put to the paper, and the wind has begun to blow.



Its almost like it’s worse than it’s ever been before. Im scared to close my eyes anymore, don’t ask me why because I know ill never tell. Yesterdays feelings have been replaced by today’s worries. If only I could wash them out to sea.. all will be lost in time, but today was just a waste of it. Worrying about things I can’t control any more than you. I wish I could promise you I wont stray, but already my confidence is faltering.. I had mistaken you for someone who cared. It’s much worse than before.



It never was a lie, just a shadow of a dream.. isn’t that what humanity is based on? Shattered dreams and false hope? Well not anymore. Its time to do away with the liars, do away with the cheats, and return this world to something that doesn’t scare anymore. Because honestly im tired of being afraid, and im tired of hearing that your scared too.





Its just an act stop holding back, I know somewhere down there you have emotions, all the lights can’t be turned to grey. Whats it going to take to save you? Is this just another game to you, am I just another pawn in your game we call life? Im tired of playing and im tired of nights spent laying awake worried about you.



Where’s your hope,

Where’s your faith,

Where’s your trust,

Whatever happened to the world being one? Now it’s simply all for one. One for all. You say its time for change but I doubt it, it hasn’t gotten any easier to breathe, it’s just a waste of time. Don’t hold your breath this isn’t going anywhere, just sit back and relax, laugh at the things that make others so sad. Cause you know it’ll be ok, at least for us, way up here just watching the sunset.



I wish I could write my words on a cannonball, maybe then someone would listen. I have a point to prove and you need to listen, all I ever did was stand up for you and all you ever did was push me down. I can’t understand why I did what I did for so long but this is it. Im done, I quit. You’ve pushed me down for the last time. You’ll realize just how wrong you were when im gone.



Your really never better off alone.. Misery loves its company. Now pay attention, this is when it matters most. The truth has risen like the sun, its time to realize hiding accomplishes nothing, you need to face your shadows you don’t need to fear the dark anymore. There is nowhere left to go but up from here, and trust me, you can take your time. Im sure you’ve heard that some things are better left unsaid, well I tend to keep it that way. It’s almost easy when you have a heart of lead.



Today is today and will never be tomorrow or what yesterday was, today is your day, another day for you to say here I stand, here I am, been through it all and now im here for more. Ill never call it quits not ever like this, cause trust me ill only go out on my own terms. There is no point in crying over things that never were your fault. But then again whoever said tears can’t get you through the worst. But when those around you do their best to pretend like nothings wrong because its what your doing, well it makes it that much worse when they fail. Get up on your toes no one ever said it’d be an easy fight to win but as long as I can throw punches until the end ill be alright.





Its me and you against the world kid, and trust me were not doing so well. We fall, we get back up, knowing we’ll fall again. But we stand back up every time, on that one goddamn chance that we’ll win this fight. Were outnumbered but that hasn’t stopped me before. If these walls burn I still think we’ll make it out okay. Because darling when you shine, I know there’s no where id rather be than there with you.



I used to count the seconds after you left.. I used to count the stars in the sky.. I used to dream about times I hope id never forget.. now I’ve lost count and realized, I need to focus on the life im living now not the one I used to lead..

The only souls made of rubber are shoes



When im all alone and my mind starts to wander I just can’t seem to keep my head on the ground. I think of you and my heads start to shake, I run out of things I could possibly say, my heart starts to beat again, my blood starts to flow. The world leaves me and I don’t miss it, im too distracted. I’ve seen that fire in your eyes I’ve felt that steam in your veins, and I know that you are unbelievable.



I drew a blank and put it in a frame.. I got a book beautifully bound but not a word to the pages.. I want words on these pages I want a picture in this frame.. im tired of waiting, help me write my story I know you’re the only one who can.



A night laying awake means there is something you’re running away from. You know you can’t stop me from making the same mistakes.. That’s what ill never do, so im just saying darling, your losing your touch. Last time I trusted it took me years to realize, it did just as much as the breeze against the ocean. Just say what you want to say, do what you have to do no one is stopping you. You’re not bound to escaping this town. Your indecisive to reality, you need to realize, who are you plotting for, what are you fighting for, there’s no such thing as a simple escape.



I know her scars and how she got them, I know her smile is something that will never be forgotten. If you need me ill come. I’d run thousands of miles to hold you, and if the walls fell down and the rain pelted my back I wouldn’t notice, as long as I was with you. But I always feel like there’s something you won’t say to me, something you hide that just doesn’t let me fit right, like the puzzle piece cut wrong.