"Why Not?"

I wrote this meditation to submit to Rest Ministries "Chronic Illness Pain Daily Devotionals."  A couple of my meditations have been published on this website.  Rest Ministries is an excellent site for anyone dealing with a chronic pain condition.

"Why Not?"

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances;
for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV)

I recently wrote an essay for an anthology entitled, “Questions for God.”  Over eighty people wrote essays in answer to the question, “If you could ask God one question, what would it be?”  (My question was, “Why do innocent children have to suffer?’  Why don’t you intervene on their behalf and spare them?”)  Most people have a lengthy list of why questions for God.

Yesterday, an article in an issue of Alive Magazine challenged me to rethink the value of asking why questions.  Am I asking the wrong question?  What if I were to reverse the question and ask “why not me?” 

Why was I not born into a nonbelieving family (instead of my Christian family)? 

Why do I not live in a war torn country  (instead of in the United States where we’ve not seen actual war on our territory since the Civil War)?

Why am I not struggling to survive in a third world country where many starve to death before their first birthday (instead of eating and sleeping in a well insulated and heated home where my fridge and freezer are well supplied)? 

Why am I not married to an alcoholic, abusive husband (instead of a man who has loved me for over forty years and who I have loved for the same length of time)?

Why am I not suffering from cancer or some other catastrophic illness (instead of living with a chronic pain condition that is not life threatening)?

Pondering such questions leads me to wonder, in embarrassment, “Why am I so ungrateful for the many blessings in my life?”  “Why do I take so much for granted?”

If I were to ask fewer “why” questions, and more “why not me” questions, how would this change the way I deal with my chronic pain, fatigue, insomnia, restless leg syndrome—or any other things in my life that I don’t like and that I wish I could wish away?

In my better moments, I practice gratitude and thank God for everything good in my life that I can think of.  “Thank you that I am feeling energetic today and that everything is going smoothly.”  “Thank you that I did not crash my car when I was distracted by talking on my cell phone while driving.” 

But rarely, if ever, do I say, “Thank you, Lord, that I am in pain today and that I can’t do all the tasks I need to accomplish.”  “Thanks a lot, Lord, that I ran off the road while talking on my cell phone and was late to work.”  I’m not sure I can utter such a prayer without my words dripping with sarcasm.  “Thanks a lot, God, for messing up my day (or week, or life).”

All these “why” questions overwhelm me.  I’m tempted to switch to a different question like, “When, Lord?” or “How, Lord?”  But God provides me with a different tack, one that will set me on the right course.  What if I pray 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18?

Lord, help me to “rejoice always” and “give thanks in all circumstances.”
When I stray from your will, remind me to pray.
Thank you for sending your Spirit to fill my sails and direct my course.