alternative christmas story |
Twisted Christmas Santa Claws is coming to town Everyone hide! Pull your shutters down Stoke up your fires with plenty of wood Throw on your turkey, your holly and Christmas pud Grease up your chimney and the slates on your roof Make sure your home is Santa Claws proof He’s not funny, jolly, gentle or kind He’s wicked and evil with meanness in mind He’ll steal all your toys and eat all your sweets Cut up your comics and deprive you of treats Jack Frost was once his friend, don’t you know Till Santa Claws trapped him in a dungeon of snow Snow men fear him and the elves are enslaved It’s been 400 years since he last shaved His beard once white is now tarnished with soot And frostbite has claimed 2 fingers and 1 foot His sleigh once pulled by reindeer a plenty Sits gathering dust, present sacks are all empty The list of names he used to check twice Has gone through the shredder and is bedding for the mice Prancer and Dancer and Comet and co Have packed up their antlers and decided to go The North Pole once merry and filled with good cheer Is now a ghost town and is deserted this year Why has Santa been twisted this way? Why has he snapped and abandoned his sleigh? His visits used to fill us with joy Now our stockings are empty, not even one toy Now I’ve shown you a picture of how it could be If all the worlds children became naughty Is this how Christmas must be from now on? No gifts, no treats, no reindeer and above all no fun No! For the real Santa Claus you will see Still loves you and them and of course me Sugar plum fairies will still dance in your head Excitement still fills you when its time for bed Christmas Expectation and enjoyment to see What Santa Clause has left under your Christmas Tree But next time you feel like playing the fool Like being unkind or mean and generally un-cool Remember that magical eyes could be watching you And even Santa Claus has a breaking point too Look after your friends, your family and all other kin Help out the needy and try not to sin Santa rewards boys and girls who follow these laws If you don’t you may be visited by the OTHER Santa Claws! |