Stop and Stare

I stop and stare,
looking at my life,
my past.

I see my friends,
I see my family,
I see the old me,
Shy, and scared.

I look back,
I stop and stare,
I see me,
calm as can be.

I sit in a field surrounded,
by flowers galore,
colours so bright,
eyes so bright.

I find myself singing,
and humming to myself,
never predicting,
what i was to become.

I hold my own hands as i think of what i did,
I hold my breath to resist the urge to cry,
I hold back tears as they start to fall.

I wish with all my might,
to go back to the field,
surrounded by flowers,
surrounded by hope.

I feel my innocence,
escape,

I feel my joy,
fly away,

I close my eyes and pray,
that my downward spiral stops,
and i return to my innocence.