Lesson 4 - Building a Character

Lesson 4 - Part 1

Please meet my new character, Jeannette Marie Sanders.

Jeannette answers to “Jeannie” because everyone has called her that since grade school, which was over fifty years ago. Her second husband, George, kept up the habit as a term of endearment. She doesn't particularly like the nickname, she feels more like a Jeannette, but she supposes people are just trying to be friendly. She puts up with it rather than revealing her true feelings.

Jeannie’s first husband, whom we will leave nameless, was a drunk and a wife beater, and, unfortunately, is the father of her grown son. After living with nameless in Colorado for three grueling years, Jeannie found some power within herself to pack her bags, bundle up her son, and catch a bus back to her parents home in Washington State. Her newly found courage had more to do with safety for her son than concern for herself even though nameless had caused numerous hospital visits. Soon after Jeannie's departure, the police found nameless dead in their tiny apartment. The cause of death was termed alcohol poisoning.

Jeannie waited three years to leave nameless because her father is not too much different from him. Not a drinker or a wife beater, he has, as she describes to friends, an electrolyte imbalance that leads to erratic behavior and destructive rages, sending everyone within his range running in quivering fear for their lives. A few months after Jeannie moved back home, she and her mother were able to convince her dad to see a doctor, and he was put on a new medication. As long as he took the new medicine, life at home was peaceful, but Jeannie had to follow her dad's rules. She didn't mind. What little hope she had coveted of living happily ever after, had been dashed anyway. Giving up and giving in came naturally to her.

Both her mother and father immigrated to America from Russia. Jeannie’s favorite meal is stuffed cabbage, and she has always been partial to hot tea with lemon. Her father, and thus her mother, are clean freaks, so Jeannie has followed suit. At home and even now, she is rarely seen without a broom or dustcloth in her hand. Then it helped to keep her busy and not think about her lack of a life. Now it is just a habit she cannot break. She is almost always in constant motion unless she is sleeping.

In her twenties, Jeannie was a beautiful woman, and even now, in her sixties, because of good bone structure and attention to diet and exercise, she is the female “head turner” of her age group and gender. Her hair is naturally curly, black with a few strands of silver, and worn short, just covering her ears. She is tall, 5’7” with a long neck, long legs, and a regal stance. She was never athletic, but she looks that way because of her household chores and newly found love for gardening. She enjoys wearing well-made, expensive clothes, and her favorite haunts are Goodwill and consignment shops. She also has a weakness for jewelry resulting in a mild addiction to the shopping networks. She neither needs nor wears makeup except for lipstick.

After she returned home to her parents, she “found” religion and became a Jehovah’s Witness. The strict structure of the religion and the fact that she has been taught that only Jehovah’s Witnesses will be going to Heaven somehow makes her feel safe and secure. She does not celebrate any holidays, not even birthdays, including her own. She does not dance or listen to music. Her only vices, not specifically qpproved by her church, are watching QVC and polishing her fingernails. She believes in following rules but conveniently has a blank spot for these two "sins".

Having only a high school education, she did manage to find a job for a large property owner cleaning their apartments during turnovers. This and her religion seemed a satisfying life for her for several years until she met George. George has his own cleaning business and with that in common plus the fact that Jeannie was not looking for ecstatic love again, after a couple of years, they decided to get married. Although George is a kind man, he admires Jeannie’s dependent personality.

George brought home carryout Chinese one evening for dinner resulting in Jeannie’s discovery that she was allergic to MSG. George rushed her to the emergency room when he saw her swelling face and hands. She never, ever ate Chinese again. Lately, she has been getting migraine headaches and, mysteriously, she attributes them to the long ago Chinese food. She knows when the headaches are starting because she get nauseated and her hands start to sweat profusely. She has to go to bed immediately. George does his best to take care of her, darkening the bedroom, fixing his own dinner, and keeping quiet. Jeannie is somewhat surprised by his behavior and almost looks forward to the debilitating pain.

George’s mother recently passed away, and George and Jeannie have decided to sell their house and move in with George’s father to take care of him. He is in the first stages of Alzheimer’s. His home, an old two-story, has historical value, which interests Jeannie, but it is in dire need of many expensive repairs. George is not “handy” and this is a cause of concern for Jeannie. Her new role as caregiver is worrying her as well, and to thicken the plot even more, George has two married brothers.

The closer it gets to moving day, signs of Jeannie's trepidation multiply. She is having nightmares, screaming out in the middle of them, waking up George. Her night clothes are drenched with sweat and upon awaking, it takes her several minutes to know where she is. George has had no problems with his brothers over the move; in fact, they are all for it. He has no clue that Jeannie is concerned about the move. Unwilling to cause problems or be seen in a bad light, Jeannie has not mentioned her fears to him. As her nightmares increase, George cautiously suggests she see a pyschiatrist. Seeing this as a possible solution, Jeannie agrees. Following are some of Jeannie's sessions with Dr. Arcan.


Lesson 4 - Part 2

Dr. Arcan – Good morning, Mrs. Sanders. Please sit down and make yourself comfortable. May I call you Jeannette?

Jeannie – Yes, of course. I’d like that.

D – Does that mean you’re called something else?

J – Well, everyone calls me Jeannie, but I much prefer Jeannette. It seems so much more grown up and important.

D – Then, Jeannette it will be. I like that much better, too. Your chart tells me you’ve been having some nightmares lately, and your husband is very concerned about you. Do you have any memory of what the nightmares are about?

J – Not really. When I wake up, I hardly know where I am, and I’m so afraid, but I don’t remember what it is that scares me. Look, just thinking about it makes my hands sweat.

D – I see that. Let’s talk about something more pleasant, then. Where did you grow up, Jeannette?

J – I grew up here in Seattle. I’ve lived here all my life except for a few years in Colorado with my first husband. My parents came here from the Soviet Union like a lot of their friends did. That was before I was born.

D – That must have been difficult for them…a new country and a new language. Did they have problems?

J – My dad was an accountant in the old country, but here, the best job he could find was a plumber’s helper. Everyone thought he was illiterate and uneducated because his English wasn’t pefrect. He never got any chance at a good job. He wouldn’t allow my mom to work. That wouldn’t have been right. She had cooking and cleaning and taking care of him and me to keep her busy.

D notices that J is playing with the fabric of her skirt as she talks, rolling it back and forth between her thumb and index finger.

D – Did your dad ever feel it was a mistake coming here? Having to take such a low paying job and working around strangers he didn't understand very well...that must have been hard on him...and your mom and you too.

J – Well, you're right, he didn’t get paid much and we had to skimp a lot. Sometimes he lost his temper…but he never hit us. He just shouted and held his head like it hurt. It scared me sometimes when I was little, but my mom would lock us in the bathroom until it passed. Later he always said he was sorry. I knew I cost extra money. That’s one reason I got married so young. After I moved back home, she talked him into seeing a doctor, and he got medicine to help him.

D- Why did you move back home? That must have been a hard thing to do.

Jeannie shifts in her chair, and upon looking down, seems surprised that her skirt is wrinkled. She smoothes it out with her right hand, thinking a while before she answers.

J – Well, I told you I got married very young. I didn’t take the time to get to know my husband. He was a few years older than me and just about the first boy I ever dated. I guess I was star struck. I, uh, I got pregnant, and my dad sort of made him marry me. We loaded up what few belongings we had and moved to Colorado where he had relatives, but it didn’t work out.

D – What happened?

J – He, um, started drinking…a lot. I guess he always had, but I didn’t know it before. Then he would get mad and blame me for everything that went wrong. He couldn’t keep a job and his relatives got tired of loaning him money he never paid back. After the baby came, the beatings got worse. It took me three years and a few visits to the emergency room, but I finally got the nerve to go home and face my dad. I guess he became the lesser of the two evils. It didn’t take me long to find a job, and that helped. Mom really liked taking care of her grandson.

D – Grandmoms can really come in handy, especially if they like children. So your dad didn’t mind you working?

J – No, things had changed by then. Lots of women worked. And we needed the money.

D – I'll bet your husband was surprised when he found out you had gone. Did he make any attempt to come after you?

Jeannie looks embarrassed and keeps her eyes on her skirt, continuing to rub out the wrinkles with her right hand.

J – He, um, died right after I left. Drank himself to death the police said.

D – I'm sorry. That must have upset you. Did you somehow feel responsible?

J – Me? Well, maybe a little. I don’t think I made him drink. He drank before I knew him. But maybe if I had stayed with him, I would have been there and got help. I did think a lot about that after I heard he died.

D – Did you ever feel like a victim when you lived with your first husband?

A surprised look crosses Jeannie’s face as though she is having an epiphany.

J – I never thought of it that way, but, yes, I guess I did.

D – So…your child…a boy?

J – Yes, John. He’s twenty-two now, very smart. He works for a new tech company here in Seattle.

D – That’s wonderful. You must be very proud. I'll bet it was hard to tell him about his father.

J – I’ve told him most of it…not how bad the beatings really were…but enough for him to understand why I left. I don’t think he blames me for anything. I worried about telling him for a while but, of course, he started asking questions when he was little, and I didn’t want him idolizing a dad who wasn’t worth it. My dad would have spilled the beans anyway, and then, where would I have been? So really, I guess I sort of got forced into telling the truth.

D - What kind of job did you find, Jeannette?

J – Job? Oh, um, cleaning apartments when people moved out before the next people moved in. I love to clean. My mom taught me all the tricks to cleaning. Our home was always spotless. Dad insisted on it...but we wanted it that way, too. Cleanliness is really next to Godliness, you know.

D – Speaking of God, are you religious, Jeannette?

J – Of course, I’m Jehovah’s Witness. I attend church twice a week, faithfully, I do house visits, and I always go to the district convention. Being faithful is serious to me.

D – And George…does he attend with you?

J – No, I’m afraid I haven’t been able to persuade George…but, that’s his right, that’s everyone’s right to do what they feel best. As long as I’ve done everything I can, there’s nothing more I can do. But I don’t give up trying.

D – That’s commendable, Jeannette. Well, it looks as though our time for today is up. I’ve enjoyed this session with you, Jeannette, and I think I’m really getting to know you. Stop by the desk out front, and Martha will give you a card for your next appointment.

J – Thank you, Doctor. You’re very easy to talk to.