The Voices

But I cannot say...
Are these really voices?
My head spins...
Ideas of terrifying things enter...
Not me, I know this much.
I don't want these thoughts!
I cannot say if they are voices
Maybe I'll understand one day...
What is causing this?

Why can't I think clearly
Without telling myself
to do something
I truly don't want to do?

When will I learn?
Is there something wrong with me?
I just want some normalcy
But I keep telling myself
Falso truths or commands
Unlike who I am
Am I really hearing voices?
But they are me...
and also not me...
Then I hate myself,
Something I never wanted
I never wanted this...
Whatever it is.

Why can't I think clearly
Without telling myself
to do something
I truly don't want to do?

The lies are going to build
Why can't I be completely honest?
Or can I be honest without feeling
So guilty without reason?
Everytime I say I think I hear voices
In my head...
My mind hurts from this
Can't I be at least slightly normal?

Why can't I think clearly
Without telling myself
to do something
I truly don't want to do?

Why can't I see what's causing
All the pain I feel?

Love, hate, pain, lies,
Death, sanity, blood,
Happy, anger...

Why can't I think clearly
Without telling myself
to do something
I truly don't want to do?

I scratch the words on
My arm again...
And the voices arise once more...