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Chapter 2 written by Ashley Bliss |
by Ashley Bliss Words were all I had in those days. I was rarely contemplative so I do not think I realized it at the time, but they were the only thing I could count on. They were comfort, they were connection, they constructed empires, they composed peace, and most of all, they were power. Others would say that my regard for words is intrinsic to my nature, but I think that we often hate what we are. Therefore, I believe this story began when I was a young child. My mother had died giving birth to me and my father was never a man of great affection. However, I remember every night he knelt by my bed and told me the most heartbreakingly beautiful stories I have ever heard. He was not a charmspeaker as I am, but he sculpted words better than all of the great charmspeakers I have studied over the years. I think that is why he was such a great king. And because he was king, those stories were the only thing I had of him. However, as soon as I began my training those were taken from me as well. I realized it was necessary, I was training to be the future queen of my nation not to be a well-adjusted human being. I also realized that my training did not own me, my environment and even my nature did not determine who I was. So I sought all that was denied me. I sought belonging. I often escaped to Ascalon, but I remember the day I met John Riverd. Being the daughter of a king, you quickly learn that everyone wants to please you. Everyone puts on a mask in order to make you like them. John, however, had been different. When I found him sitting on the outside with the same longing in his eyes that I felt in my heart, I knew I wanted to get to know him. He had been shy and genuinely sweet. Most importantly, he had trusted me with his story. He was my first real friend. The next day I drove my masters fairly insane with my exuberance, and late in the afternoon I finally made my escape. I sprinted through the village to our spot. He was not there. I came up with every excuse my mind could generate, but when the stars became my only company I realized the truth. He was not coming. I made my way back to the castle with tears in my eyes and lead in my heart. Why did I think this was going to be anything different? Why did I let myself care? I was finally learning the lesson my father had tried to teach me. A queen cannot afford to trust. These were the thoughts that filled my mind as I crested the hill to find the castle ablaze, and the sounds of treason ringing through the night. |