My Own Place

I feel removed from everyone else
Like i'm on a different plateau

Not smarter or dumber
Just removed

Like if i tried hard enough
I could truly be there

Other times they don't care
They wouldn't notice me

I can sit
And feel everything around me

I can see everything around me and
Hear all the noises

But I don't experience them
There just around me

Some try to talk to me
My layers of different

Make it hard for them
Soon they give up

Not wanting to get out of their world
To enter mine

Dark and lonely
It's boring

I remove myself
Only to get pushed in further

Words are pushing me backI don't want to come back
Not in my dark, loneliness

So comfortable
People push me closer to the edge

But i never leave
I love the comfortableness

Not being needed
Not being wanted

Only being by myself
I don't want to leave

But you pull so hard,
my plateau shatters

It's horrible out there
Bright and loud and vivid

It scares me
I try to go back to my plateau

You stay latched to me
I'm scared and frightened

And I want to go home
But you never let go

I hate you and love you at the same time
I can't decide

I want both
I get both