I believe

Do I believe in god? A god, any god? Define believing. If believing is performing rites with no visible results, than no, I don’t. My expected life span was 9 months, so it was illogical to waste it on something that didn’t promote me. But that’s not believing, that’s worship.

Does believing mean accepting that someone created me, that my life was planned? In this case, I could believe. I know who created me, how it happened, what’s my purpose in life. Ironically, the humans that created me can’t decide on one creator and waste their lives looking for a purpose, but they think of themselves as god made, and here I am, a golem of flesh, and I believe more than they do, knowing who created me. But they associate creation with worshipping a being stronger than a human. That’s just odd. Why should I worship humans? I mean, I can snap one in half in a moment. So, I accept creation, but I don’t believe.

Maybe believing is accepting that there’s someone stronger, so strong I can’t comprehend, someone in whose image we all exist, humans and Tec alike. He possesses music, for Frederic to inherit. He’s also cold and harsh, like Verbena and at the same time calm and protective like Tola. His traits are everything and they are in all of us. I can’t understand what he or she is, but I can accept that he might exist, and by accepting it, I believe.


(Inna, 2010)