The Battle Within, pt. 1

When it is time for change, we shy away.
When we appear so strong...
... we really aren't strong after all.

Distance is my mechanism for change.
I stand back and observe...
Apprehensive if I should make a move.
In my place of solitude, I watch as all things age around me.
As I come to my senses, I've missed my chance.
I made my mistake.
Again and again I wait.

How I've aged...
A mere 17 becomes 24.
I am alone, as I was before.
Not really, but this is the mentality I maintain.
Only to save myself from pain.
To hide so that no one may notice...
But I've been found.

No need to worry, I am well-adjusted.
I give thanks to those who have kept me afloat.
To those that have given me their strength.
To those beautiful individuals I am honored to know.
Many of them don't realize what they have helped me through...

The same people I have distanced myself from.
Individuals who I have known for years...
Who have done so much...
And I feel like I am ungrateful.
But within my awkwardness I just want to hide.
To stay away.
To distance myself from it all.
It is not that I don't appreciate...

What happened to me?

There is a need for change.
Back to the distance... does that start the cycle again?