There is always tomorrow

There is always tomorrow

My sister pushed me out on the porch,turned me slightly. So I could get a better look at the school crossing, in front of our house. I watched as she locked down the wheels on the wheelchair.

Things had been this way every sense I left the hospital. The last doctor visit, The doctor commented. I would have thought he would have improved some by now. I don't understand it.

I had not spoke to any one in weeks, and that they didn't understand. Keep a close eye on him while he is taking this medicine he said. It can cause some psychotic confusion. Oh I knew what was going on. I had improved tremendously. I could talk,I could walk,but I wasn't ready for them to know,and as far as my mind was concerned. I was thinking clearly for the first time in my life.

My sister turned around and walked inside, leaving me alone out here.

Some kids were lining up at the cross walk.Waiting for the guard to stop traffic.I scanned the kids.They ranged from about six till about ten years old.

I could feel the anger building up inside of me,as I watched them play. Why should I be in pain while they run free,I thought. For the first time in my life I was able to think out side the envelope. No society imposed morals shoved down my throat. Suddenly I noticed one of the six year old girls had fell behind the rest of the kids.

Maybe I could sneak over by the old tool shed. No one would see me. I turned my head and glanced through our front door. My sister was up stairs. Probably taking a shower. The crossing guard was busy with traffic. Besides he couldn't see the shed from where he stood.

I thought maybe I could make someone else feel the pain I feel. Maybe it might make me feel better,I thought. I stood up estimating the time it would take me to reach the shed. I didn't want to kill her. I only wanted her to hurt. I wanted her to feel what I was feeling. I started to step off the porch,when I saw the little girl run accross the street, in the middle of the block. Stupid kid don't she know she could get killed I thought. I sat back down.

I was shaking,and the sweat was pouring off me. I watched the remaining kids disapear out of sight. My sister stepped out on the porch carrying my medicine. Your wringing wet with sweat she said. You must be running a fever she said. She placed her hand on my forehead,and got a puzzled look on her face.

Let me get you inside and get you cleaned up. She unlocked the wheels and pushed me inside. Oh well theres always tomorrow I thought,as I smiled...............
Eddie John