Soulless

I am created
By the illusions we shared
Of dolls
And bells in disarray,
Ever unawake.

She has gone too deep to ever swim back,
So I sing to the ripple,
The ghost and the absence.

What a beautiful creature I am,
Seductively roaming the night,
Searching for hungers to feed
And debts to pay,
Until I collapse peacefully to join her
Across the sea, until the morning
Rushes my heart to the operating room
For its amputation.

In the sum of my parts,
I find emptiness.
When my whole being is aligned,
I can erode these
Delicate shells into dust.
The ocean drips my skin with its trespasses onto
The dirt of the
Earth I am growing apart from,
The soil of dissolved skirts
That bury the angry gun.

But, oh god! the soul I meant in play
Has come home to grow.
How could I have known?