What I Did

Don't ask me why I wrote this, it just popped in my head when I saw the prompt.

What I Did

The waiting was the hardest part,
I stood and strained, had to fart.
I’ve never felt such terrible pain,
As I tried so hard, I felt a strain.

You know it wasn’t quiet or dry,
It smelt so bad, I wanted to cry.
If dogs were near, they’d surely bark,
Lucky for me, it was quite dark

Another one hit me, this one burned,
My eyes were watering, my stomach churned
This was rapidly getting out of hand
If I wasn’t careful, I’d get canned

The theater emptied with people gagging,
I followed along, but tongues were wagging
I acted nonchalant as if it wasn’t me
But I’d farted so badly I couldn’t see

I bumped into a vomiting kid
Then slipped a bit and started to skid
I slid on my backside towards the door
And saw many others, lying on the floor

The door was opened, I slid outside
Cold air! How nice, but now ‘it’ dried
My pants were stuck; yep, to my crack
I’d be better off where I belonged, in the back

A theater manager shouldn’t do what I did,
In the middle of a crowd, heaven forbid!
When that feeling hits you, head to the throne
Or do ‘that’ anywhere, if you’re alone

Jim Dorrell
11/30/10

215 words
28 lines