Train of Thought

ACT I

Scene 1

On a train.

Mary

Hey don't I know you.

Tom

Uh I don't know I don't know you.

Mary

Yea yea you were in the hospital about a month ago, when I was there. Now do you remember me

Tom

Oh yea that's right you were the one that was always talking.

Mary

Yea that's me always have to be heard. So why were you there.

Tom

I'm bipolar.

MARY

No, I mean why were you in there.

TOM

Oh. Well. I guess I was depressed for a couple of weeks. Then one day it just felt like the whole world was collapsing on me. I had a very bad day at school; I received a bad grade on a test, got into an argument with a friend. Then when I got home my mom said something I forget what she said, something innocent, but I blacked out. I stepped outside my body, I started smashing things and punching holes in the walls, I walked out of my house. My mom called the cops and when the cops found me they sent me there.

Mary

Wow.

Tom

Why were you there.

Mary

Guess.

TOM

Uh you killed someone.

MARY

Nope.

TOM

Suicide attempt.

MARY

And.

TOM

Depression

MARY

Well that's a given no one kills themselves when there happy.

TOM

I don't know.

Mary shows Tom her arm which has scars from cutting.

Tom

Yea a lot of girls were in there for cutting.

Mary

Tell me about it one girl was so desperate to cut herself she unscrewed the screws from the toilet seat to cut herself with it and when they found out, it was not pretty

Tom

Thorazine.

Mary

Right in the butt cheek.

Tom

Yea the girls were a lot crazier then the guys.

At this point Mary has her head on her shoulders. Mary pulls a fifth of vodka in a plastic bag.

Tom

What are you doing.

Mary

Oh I'm sorry do you want some.

Tom

No I don't drink and why are you drinking on a train.

Mary

Why not it makes the day go by a lot faster, especially when I'm in school. why, how do you pass the time in school

Tom

When I'm in school I just daydream and think about stuff to pass the time

Mary

What kinds of things do you think about.

Tom

Lots of things like life, how I'm feeling, things that I just recently learned, like now say that in the future they'd be able to cure mental illnesses. Can you imagine that.

Mary

Really that's awesome. Not having my moods get in the way of my social life. Not having to take medicine everyday.

Tom

You think so, I don't know if I'd want to. I mean being bipolar is part of who I am. I know who we are is made from are experiences and not are illness, but I've learned so many things from it. Am I just suppose to turn my back on it, and think about how much more I could learn from it, and we know a world that not that many people know of a world of extreme mental highs and lows but think about how much better the happy moments feel to us. To others those happy memories just fade away cause they have so many of them but what do we do, we cherish them. For me the happiness memories are the simplest. The ones where your just with your friends chilling with not a care in the world. Sometimes when I am in a bad mood and I'm really stressed I just close my eyes and imagine, recreate that moment and I know everything is gonna be alright.


Mary

Amen to that.

Takes a sip of her drink

Tom

So where are headed to.

Mary


To a this killer party in New Brunswick. Last time I was there there were so many cute guys there in fact I hooked up with three of the hottest guys there.

Tom

Congratulations I guess.

Mary

So tell me Tom, a good looking guy like you must have a girlfriend.

Tom

No unfortunately not, I tend to have problems with the ladies.

Mary

Have you ever had a girlfriend.

Tom

Once but it didn't work out.

Mary

Why not?

Tom

Well I'm not sure exactly I think it had something to do with her going to college also I don't think we really liked each other I think we just want someone to be with. It doesn't feel good when all your friends have girlfriends and hear them talking about them when we were going out I felt so much better I felt more accepted. That's when most of my problems with girls started.

Mary

I can imagine so.

Tom

What about you any long term love interests in your life.

Mary

Yea one but (pause) well his name was Sebastian we were very close we were actually in love I mean truly in love, except one time he was drunk and I called him to pick me up and he crashed into a telephone pole and was in a coma for a couple days and passed on. Ever since then I've never been in a relationship. That moment just damaged me forever. Now I guess me hooking up with random guys is just a way to distract myself from the emptiness that followed after I loss him and probably just damages my trust in men further so it becomes I viscous cycle that in the end just leads to me being alone for the rest of my life and eventually me killing myself. I guess that's what my problem is.

Tom

You know what when I was depressed and I was thinking of suicide images would pass through my head like when I was around knives i would picture my self cutting my throat or when i saw some pills I just pictured myself swallowing all them down but I would never actually do it do you know why?

Mary

No why?

Tom

Cause suicide is just selfish you know god gave the gift of life and you sacrifice it for what, going through some hard times. Things get better in time yea you gonna have your sad days or weeks or even years but the question you got to ask yourself is do the good and fun times outweigh the bad times. Are you gonna spend your time wallowing in self pity or get out and enjoy life while you still can.

Mary

Ha no the good times most surely don't match up to the bad times and time does not heal all wounds. The only way to deal with it is to forget and the only way to do that is to drink them away.

TOM

Yea but you can not dwell on the past. If your gonna focus on the past, all you'll have is regrets and sorrow.

MARY

Well don't you focus on the past when you think of your precious memories. Know what I think, I think you escape from the present which you can't handle and think that if you ignore the present enough that it'll just go away. You know what, you think your happy, but deep inside your filled with dread for the future and that's why you daydream so much about the past and at least I know that I'm unhappy. You think that you can front. That the sadness isn't going to eat you up inside well in that case, smarty all knowing wise ass your even dumber than I am.

TOM

Okay so what if I am trying to pretend to be happy. At least I'm not drinking and having sexual escapades with every party guy I see.

MARY

(sits in silence for awhile)

Okay lets not ruin our reunion with an argument lets change the subject. where are you headed to.

Tom

Home.

Mary

Home and where would that be.

Tom

West orange.

Mary

Very cool.

The conductor comes on the loudspeaker saying the next stop is East Brunswick. They sit in silence

TOM SELF

This is Tom's subconscious speaking to him tom is talking to himself. Mary cannot hear this to her it is just silence. It looks from the audience POV that they are talking to themselves

What are you doing.

TOM

What.

TOM SELF

Ask her out.

TOM

Why would she go out with me. We just got in an argument.

TOM SELF

So, come on are you blind she's totally into you.

TOM

Okay if you say so.

Mary's self

He'll ask for your number don't worry.

MARY

No he won't I scared him away with that argument.

MARY'S SELF

Yea what was up with that, but don't worry he likes you showed him that you're a tough girl that you can hold your own. That your assertive some guys like that and I bet this.

MARY

He's not going to I'm just a stupid girl. Who will only be tossed around like a sack of potatoes.

MARY'S SELF

What the hell sack of the potatoes

MARY

I don't know I'm drunk


The train stops

Mary

Well I guess I'll say goodbye.

Tom

Bye it was lovely talking to you.

Mary is about to depart the train

Tom

Wait Mary can I get your. (Mary cuts him off)

Mary pulls it out of her bag and hands him her number.

Train door closes separating Mary and Tom.