Depression

Beasts lie in wait made from hobbies I loved.
Piles of unfinished projects like skyscrapers.
Fear that the skills and imagination I had,
vanished along with the better me.

Is it so bad they pretend not to notice?
Or am I just so good at saving face?
Have I made a smoke screen of normality?

Nothing to reflect I am here, because I am not.
The big slap in the face is that no one noticed,
Until my servant hands stilled with confusion.
How dare I stop the machines and production?

But I believe in quality not quantity, so I am still.
And yet they demand a half-assed job,
confusing my movement with action.
And that I think is what hurts me the most.

"Coulda, woulda, shoulda's"  bury me alive.
Their resentment is eating the crumbs of me.
The word "ingrate" comes to mind.
If I make it back it will be on my own as usual.

Mollasses-footed, I'm  a mobile-comatose joke.
Wearing my trademark iron-scorched clothing,
I try and keep up with the herd's heel-dust.

We pass a wastebasket and I drop it skillfully,
and the appointment slip falls among the garbage.
"Diagnosis- depression." scrawled on the paper.


author's notes:
Depression can be a sign of a physical illness, or it
can be emotional in origin. In either case, Jesus Christ
will walk beside us and carry us through it if need be.
I've battled chronic depression since childhood from trauma.
With every trauma, fear, or peril...I know this...
Jesus is with me.
Depression was like prison, but Jesus said he came to set
the captives free.


Psalms 147:3-
He heals the brokenhearted, And binds up their wounds.

Philippians 4:13-
I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.


1 Peter 5:6-7-
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God,
that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety
upon Him, because He cares for you.

2 Timothy 1:7-
For God has not given us a spirit of timidity,
but of power and love and discipline


John 16:33-

"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace.
In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world."