August Dream

There are no reasons why I am at this place, walking toward him and purposely passing in front of him. And there are no reasons, as always, he is not found alone, but always with his friends, most of them are females; I am not the jealous type, but I wish I am among them.
He calls my name once I am few steps away from him, he rushes to me while I am still walking to my unknown direction. I do not know whether I am looking at him, but he holds my hand; his big hand is so warm and is touching mine with all its power and effect. He holds my hand so close to him possessing it as it is truly his own.
“I apologize for making you cry.” he says at once, with serene voice that keeps echoing until the effect of my astonishment. My astonishment is also fear ; has he found out my true feelings to him? and how? who is my betrayer that dares reporting him what my heart carries? who is that Judah that I should be avoiding?
“Pardon”, that is all I can reply, “what do you mean?”
I push him away with all the strength my hands carry, surely I am not as physically powerful.
“You did not make me cry,” I continue, “I do confess I was disappointed you ended our friendship, and perhaps hurt, but I have never cried.”
I start walking away from him, trying as much as I can do hold my tears that are already flowing. I walk faster, hiding my wet face that carries too much of emotions, perhaps sadness and absolutely anger.
I wish he follows me, call my name again, for I want to hear his voice. But all I need again is to feel the touch of his hands while holding mine. I do not want to hear his voice anymore, I just want him near me, I want him here with me now, more than ever.
Yes, my broken heart cried rivers over him and still shedding tears. I still doubt my strength to overcome this foolish passion. I still doubt my ability to love again and carry true emotions to another worthy man.

_{November the 6th 2010}