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Anxiety courses through me in a thought halting pulse, throwing me into a tortuous state of mind only obtainable in my already emotionally numb haze. Underneath every thought, every action, every emotion, that life-consuming desire surges on, requiring only the most miniscule promptings before rapidly devouring my entire consciousness. My heart pulsates frantically in missed opportunity while I tremble, severed from reality and stripped of all control. Shallow, shuddering breaths, in their anxious clamor for escape, become lodged in my chest, an entangled mess of racing, indiscernible notions. I am inescapably spiraling down in abandon as my surroundings blur into murky specters of passing time, replaced by overwhelmingly vivid visions of what could have been.