The Puppet

If you feel that your life depends on it then, trust me you will do pretty much anything. If you feel like you can’t take another breath or move another muscle. If sheer desperation trickles through your body every minute of every day you too will do it. As I lay beside my husband listening to his deep breath as he soundly slept beside me, I knew tonight would be the end.

Mark and I were very happy, we really were happy. We met at university at a boozy friend’s house party. Mark studied Law and I studied English we were instantly inseparable. We moved in together in our final year at university and our lives were pretty much perfect. He took me on a Sharm El Sheikh holiday   the summer after graduation and proposed on a balmy summers evening. It couldn’t have been more wonderful and I couldn’t have been happier. We arrived home to a feast of organisation to plan our ideal wedding. We got married the following summer in our local church on a Saturday in the of height of July and followed on to a 5 star hotel to celebrate with 150 of our closest friends and family.

In the years following I got everything I had ever dreamed of, a large house, three beautiful little girls, loads of friends, exotic holidays, weekends away, new designer clothes and lavish presents. If you were an outsider looking in you would have thought wow she has it all, she must be so happy. But I wasn’t I was miserable.

He controlled every aspect of my life - from the friends I had, the clothes I wore, the way I spoke, when I saw my family, what we ate for dinner and to how are house was decorated. He controlled everything. I was like his puppet. It didn’t happen all of a sudden it gradually crept upon me like a rash that eventually covered every inch of my body. I couldn’t take it anymore and I didn’t want to take it anymore.

I won’t tell you exactly what happened next however I had planned it for years. I knew exactly what I was going to do and I did it. I killed him. I knifed him straight through his chest. When the police arrived and asked me where the murderer had left. I said she is standing right in front of you. It was me.