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by C.c. Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ · Other · Sci-fi · #1717361
A short thought provoking story about aliens & hillbillys
You can believe it or not! (Sorry Ripley's ,but its the only way to say this!) I've got to get this off my chest,it scares the crap outta me! I was at a huge gun show in Tulsa,OK. Last year when I heard a conversation about "surviving". An older fellow in overalls and straw hat was telling a freeze dried food salesman about his 'bug'. This is what I heard. The salesman(I'll call him "Bob") was in the middle of his spiel about how long their product can stay fresh when the hill billy(let's call him "hick" asked him if its gonna last till 2020! Bob: "Of course it will sir! Just add hot water and its like a fresh cooked meal!" Hick:"awrite,I wanna hunnert boxes o it". Bob,stunned by this request,stuttered"well..... You want to pay with cash or a check or card?." Hick:"Bug says you'll take this here lump for that stuff." Reaching into his overalls,he produced a fist sized lump of solid gold! Ever seen a salesman at a TOTAL loss for words? Its kinda pitiful. Bob:"mister,that isn't real! I don't now who put you up to this but its not funny!" Hick:"Well is to real. The feller at the hock shop said so. He done bought a bunch of it and wanted more, but he's done outta money."Bob: " Let me see that" closely examining the lump,he soon exclaimed"Damn! You can get a whole truck load of food and I'll even throw in the truck!" Hick; "Awrite mister you gotta deal. Meet you in Honobia in 30 days to pick it up" And stuck out a calloused dirty hand to shake on the deal. Wow! Did I just see that? I thought. Following the old guy through the show, I witnessed several more deals all along similar lines. He bought a wide variety of stuff, from shotgun shells by the pallet full to water purifiers, to camouflage clothing, to medical kits, to air purifiers and so on! He seemed to have a never ending supply of gold nuggets in his clothing! Curiosity got the best of me and I finally approached him. Me: " Excuse me sir, but I couldn't help noticing that you seem to be 'getting ready for something' and I'm wondering if you might tell me what's going on". Hick: " bug told me at least ones gonna ask something like that. Wanna lump of gold mister? Then you gotta listen to bug's words." A LUMP of GOLD?!? Now my minds going ninety miles an hour, trying to figure this out! Me: "what's 'bug' gotta say that's so important your passing out chunks of gold to get people to listen?" Hick: " well, pits of fire and brimstone, the ground a shaking and a big pair of magnets that gonna stick together! Here! Look at this!" Reaching under the brim of his sweat stained straw hat, he produced an ear piece that looked like a motorola H720 and placed it in my hand. Slightly larger and much heavier than a real one,but still appearing to be functional, He suggested I put it on. Well, I did and a smooth, cultured voice spoke. Bug: " hello William Ray Allen! I'm pleased to meet an intelligent and curious chap like you! " Me: "who is this? How do you know my name?" Laughing, hick said "Bug knows a lot of stuff!" Bug: "You my find this hard to believe,William, I'm going to save your race! its all fact and no fiction! Have you noticed our rustic friend here continues to produce heavy bits of gold from the same pocket? Counting the piece he's currently offering you, that's one-hundred and ninety two point six kilograms! Big pockets? I think not! They are coming through a space-time interface, a worm hole if you prefer, from what's left of my home planet. 2040 years ago the wave front from a large nova passed trough your solar system and none of your primitive ancestors knew it was the death knell of an entire race! I rode that shock wave out into th void, I'm the last surviving interstellar probe, reprogrammed at the last minute to carry the knowledge of a dying race. In 2000 years of study I've used my data base to discover many new things! 'Wormholes, mono poles, staisis fields and such wonders that could have saved my creators." Me: "Wait a minute!! Who is this? Who put you up to this?" Bug:"Alright, I didn't expect you to believe me. Would you hold you head still a moment? Ah that's better!" From the corner of eye, I could see motes of dust in the air sparkling like a laser shining through them. Suddenly, a robotic cockroach five feet tall appeared in front of me! Imagine a roach standing upright, with hand like graspers instead of claws, lenses for eyes, now cover it with gold and silver plate and give it a spooky "alien aura' and the damn thing was waving at me! Reaching out of view of the camera, it got a softball sized lump of gold and held it up for inspection. Bug:" name a design william" Me: you...you... Your a..." Bug: "ha! Very well, me then!" Rolling the gold around in four of its manipulators and using some kind of beam from under its chin to carve and shape the gold, it swiftly carved an exact copy of itself! Bug:" a handsome likeness, don't you think? Now do not touch the disk that will appear to your right. Simply hold your hand near it." The projection faded as I looked to my right and suddenly a shiny,silvery circle about six inches across just quietly came into being! Felling really freaked out, I put my under it. A grasper holding the statuette extended from the wormhole and gently placed it in my hand then retracted and the hole vanished with a small pop. It was perfict! A copy that I just watched that thing make and still warm from the carving! Hick: "woowee mister! Aint seen bug do that trick yet! Hey! You oughtta see yer face! You alrite feller? Hey!" Those words seemed to come down a vast tunnel as I slowly crumpled to the floor. Awaking in an emergency ward with a pounding headache and a nurse hovering over me, I couldn't get my facts straight. Nurse: "take it easy guy, you gotta mild concussion from fainting on that concrete floor! " A dull ache in my forearm got me to realize I still had a death grip on the statuette. Painfully relaxing grip, it clattered to the floor. Nurse:" oh you finally let go! I'll put it here on the table. Ugly little thing must mean a lot to you. Oh and this note was in your pocket."She handed me a folded paper then she left. Unfolding it, I could barely read the childlike printing there. Hick: mister you gotta do what bug tells you when you wake up if you wanna live when all hell breaks loose! Reaching up to my ear I didn't feel the little ear piece that bug used to communicate with me. Yelling for the nurse, I searched my pockets frantically. Its not here! When she came I described it and asked her where its at. Nurse:" stuff like that gets lost all the time! You can file a claim with our insurance monday and they'll just pay you for it." How will they pay me for my life?, I thought. All I have is this little copy of "bug" and no proof! Why couldn't hick stuff it in my pocket! Maybe the human race is too stupid to go on! END. Please comment, let me know if I should give up on writing and just dig holes for a living!!! C.C.

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