Dear My Love

April 28, 1918

Dear my love,
Life here at the trenches has been gruesome and hard to bare. We Germans are badly loosing to the French! If you are wondering why we are fighting, let me tell you. Germany is fighting with the Central Powers. Our enemy France is fighting for the Allied Powers. We are fighting for our nationalism, for imperialism, alliances, and to build up our army which is called militarism. Everyday we lose dozens of men. On a daily basis you can hear the moaning of the men that are being taken away by death and the screaming of those who death has just found. The nights are cold and harsh, not permitting us to have our sleep. My love, night is the only time I can think of you! You seem to take away the pain that has been my burden for years now. Oh how I wish I could not see the dieing faces of my brothers or the faces of my enemy who if I knew, could be my brothers too. I can taste the bitterness in my heart when I shoot an innocent man who only wanted to serve his country as I. But I do say that the trenches were the most terrible part of my years fighting. Trench warfare is when the 2 armies build trenches and take turns in killing each other. It is very maddening because it is always a stale mate! Let me tell you why lives in the trenches were so atrocious. The smell of the rotting corpses while you are eating is nauseating! You can see the rats pulling flesh off our own dead men. It seems as if they are never satisfied, always wanting more. Oh and the lice! There’re so many of them that you can grasp them and squish them with your own bare hands! The worst of all is trench foot. Every man I know fears it. It’s when your feet swell up and hardens, eventually falling off. I’ve had it before and it was the most painful hurt I have ever felt in my life. In fact, one time I almost decided to shoot my foot off because the doctors would not come and I was in so much pain. As days went on and my comrade Franz convinced me not to wound myself, I got better. My love, do not grieve for me and my agonies for I know the war is almost over. I do see a time when you and I shall see each other once more. A time when our father country shall rise to power. A time when our children shall not have war steal their childhood. Trust me my love! You must also face the realities. I know these words will break your heart but if I do not live to see you and get to send you another letter, don’t shed tears and be strong. I will wait for you, finally under the same moon! I do regret joining the war. Over years my heart has hardened and I have seen things that would be intolerable to most. I have learned and built friendships during my years but have lost many of my closest friends too. I hope your love for me will never die, never burn out for I still feel the same desire for you. If I do not get to see our son, our life, then tell him I love him and that I always would have wanted the best for him. If I pass, know that I am in a better place and that all my pain is gone. Words can’t describe how much I miss you!!

Love you and Peter for eternity,
Hanz