A Dream ( the start of a novel)

Melting of chocolate.  A pink box wrapped in ribbon.  The rush of love as they startle you with an unexpected surprise. The ragged intake of a breath. Understand the words. Love the taste, the tang of a salty adventure on your tongue. The train has just left the station – a journey. Trapped on the edge of consciousness. Burning for release. I dare you, it whispers seductively. I dare you to dream. 

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The sun’s rays touches her arm, her skin quivers in anticipation. It is the moment of truth now. A dog barking in the distance, her watch jumped forward. Tick. Another second is gone. Will he come? The place smells of old diesel from the petrol pumps.  It has been four days on the road.  The sweat of the initial panic of departure was lingering as a dark stain under her arms. It was as if she was the only person left in this world, marked only by the infrequent neon signs of disintegrating motels. However, he was coming back soon, that much was for certain. There would be no way that he would leaver her alone out here for longer then necessary. She scoured the horizon for a sign. It could come as a shimmer in the air, or the clump of heavy footsteps.  Some distinguished university professor had once told her in a pompous voice, “Traveling was a release from the numbing boredom of societies necessary routines.”  Ah, to have the comfort of a shower. What an asshole, she thought.  At this moment, all those hours spent poring over books, all the academic accolades that she had treasured would be happily sold for a bucket of hot water and a bar of soap.

Her breath was becoming ragged. Control, Sarah, control, she thought to herself. Dragging her rucksack from under the blanket and reaching inside the pocket.  In her sweating hand it felt smooth, cold. The touch was pleasurably indifferent. The struggle for control over her fluctuating emotions was a little easier to manage with metal pressing into her skin. All it would take would be one little click.

A shadow blocked the sun.

“Hi darling.”

“Don’t call me that, I am not after all your lover.” She said staring his blue eyes.

“Yes, you are. You might not know it yet, but you will catch up.“


He was leaning into the car. A piece of his hair had been released from its ponytail and had escaped over his cheek. He reached out to touch her face, in a gesture of familiarity that had infuriated her over the past three days. It was time she thought, as she looked at him. Do it now. A dimple showed in his cheek as his lips slowly curved.

Ripping the gun out of the pocket. She could see the tip shaking at him. There was nothing too it. Just pull the trigger, she thought. Why was he not frightened? His face had remained the same. A light smile, it was his seduction smile she thought off hand.

“I am going to do it.” She said.

“If you were going to do it Darling” he said.

“ You would have done it by now.”

Her body slumped, but she maintained her focus.

“Not true, you asshole, I just wanted to take this picture in my head. Your smiling face, before I blew your bullshit away. “

“This fake bravado doesn’t suit you Sarah, put the gun down. Remember it was you who called me; I had nothing to do with it. You wanted this remember. It was you who dreamed. “

“I didn’t, I didn’t mean for this to happen… I didn’t, it wasn’t in my control. I didn’t ask for any of this.” She stuttered.

Straightening her arms and tensing her shoulders, she aimed at his forehead. Squeezing her eyes shut she slowly pulled the trigger.

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Ray started upright. It was that damn girl again. Why was he dreaming about her? The rhythm of his heart had increased to a rumba-dance. He had been dreaming about her for three months now. Over the past two weeks, they had been becoming increasingly frequent.