Deserve

Word Count = 450

Been playing with my phone since two hours ago, thinking again and again if I should put my pride aside for the sake of love. Weighing the scale of how you’ve treated me all these while but I can’t find any reason why I should compromise. You’ve treated me like a stranger lately, when all I wanted was a simple “hello” or even just a smile. But NO… I got nothing at all!

In your eyes I no longer exist on this earth and in your heart I am just a stranger. Up till today, I could never understand how and why you could ever build so much hatred in your heart for me. Then why should I give in when all these while it was me who gave in. Why can’t you just forget the past and give in for just once to make things better, but no you’re as stubborn as ever when it comes to me. Your heart just becomes stone cold at the thought of me. Why again? I don’t have a clue. One thing for sure, you made it known that I do not deserve or not worth your simple “hello” nor smile, so your every actions showed. I will not ignore how much you’ve hurt me even when we aren’t together. As much as I want to wish you well on your special day, but I guess you don’t even need it at all, and I bet you’re not even expecting such delicate wish from me whom you thought deserves nothing at all from you.

As much as it hurts me to drop the idea, I just have to do it. For the sake of my pride, because why would someone whom you regard as a stranger and mean nothing at all in your life deserves even to wish you a simple Happy Birthday. Trust me, it took me the whole week just thinking about it while you’re enjoying yourself with champagne, hugs and kisses with the one whom you’ve given your love to, and it’s obviously not me.

Well, I am not as cruel as you think I am. Though you will never know, but in the history of my life and even the goddess above know, how much I always wanted to be the first to wish you and kiss you on your special day like how I used to. I never want to forget but it is you who wish for me not to remember. On this very night while you’re there dipping strawberries in cream, I am here shutting all doors to every memory of our yesterdays.

I have forgotten now, though I have never ever intended to.