Stormy Weather

The clouds seemed to push together, easily merging into a giant, or a monster. It began engulfing the smaller clouds as it continued its mischievous wrath. It is inevitable; I thought to myself, a storm is coming. The wind started to pick up, and the trees in the woods behind me began to whisper softly to one another. Hoping this storm will not take their lives. Spilling out the secrets they have kept hidden within their thick trunks, so that if they might die, what they’ve seen will always live. My hair blew back and cold air rushed to my hot face, summer was coming to an end, and this storm may bring it. I sat on the dry, dead grass to wait for this oncoming storm, there really is no point in going back to the house, nothing can protect you from what is bound to happen, right?
“Brooke?” a shrill voice called out from behind the trees. “Brooke where are you? Mom says you gotta come in right now. There is a tornado coming!” the excitement clearly present in my ten year old sisters voice called out. She soon appeared at the edge of the woods entering the clearing where I had spent most of my day. She jogged over to me. Her bright blue eyes squinted in confusion and she cocked her head slightly to the right. “Why are you just sitting there, didn’t you hear me?” I could tell that she was worried, we both always were.
“Yeah, I heard you, I just don’t feel like going back yet”, I explained. The wind was gaining strength. My sister’s red hair flew back out of her face, fear shined through her freckled skin, she pursed her lips together in a thin line. For a ten year old, my sister is pretty tall. Her eyes are in the shape of almonds and seem to glisten in the light, I have always been jealous of her looks because she looks a lot like my father. I always wished that I could look like him, so maybe I would remember him better. Relatives of ours have always told me I don’t really look like either of my parents. My dark blonde, stick straight hair doesn’t match anyone in our family. My eyes are a pale blue that seems almost gray on most days. I’ve always seen myself as plain, as compared to the strange beauty of my sisters eye catching looks, no one would ever know we were related at all.
Thunder roared and the crack of lightening lit up the sick, darkening sky. My sister let out a whimper, her eyes on mine like a puppy dogs. “You go ahead home I’ll be there in a little bit”, I reassured her. My sister seemed to plant her feet deeper into the yellow grass, I knew she wasn’t going to leave without me. The clouds overhead had gotten darker looking like smoke coming off a gas fire. The giant cloud seemed to hover over us. Thunder started rumbling again, which I figured was the clouds way of warning us of its power.
“Brooke, can we please go now?!” her voice was now panicked and her eyes began to dart around, as if looking for shelter.
“Yeah I guess, let’s go Sarah”, I said as I climbed to my feet. When we got within view of our house the rain began to sprinkle down. Tiny cold drops landed on my arms and neck, how can something so beautiful, be so dangerous. My mother was pacing back and fourth on our wooden porch, as she always did when she was nervous. The sky was now a deep purple and the rain was starting to come down harder, almost like piercing bullets. Sarah and I ran until we reached cover under the roof of the porch.
“Where have you two been? I swear I sent you out to get your sister almost an hour ago! You had me so worried!” my mother’s voice was shaking. Her curly hair seemed wild and out of place, she had not noticed yet. “We need to go down to the cellar there is a very bad storm coming.” Her face seemed to wrinkle in despair and I could tell every time a storm came, a new line from worry was left scarred into her aging face. She frantically ran into the house heading for the basement. I had no interest in going back down there again, but I followed my sister into the small room that smelled old and moldy. I sat on an old crate that probably had been down here even before we moved in, and sometimes I wish everyday that we hadn’t moved.
Storms always bring change, I can think of a million examples. I have grown to hate the weather. I remember when my dad built me and Sarah a tree house, we were so excited to play in it but a thunderstorm had erupted and lightening had stricken the tree that it was in. The tree crashed to the ground, crushing my dad’s hard work and me and Sarah’s one and only tree house. We had been so upset, and my dad promised to build us a new one, but he never got around to it.
Then there was the time I had found a hurt dog, he was laying out in our yard as rain poured down on him. He was a shaggy dog, who didn’t look like anyone had owned in awhile. He must have cut his paw on a bear trap in the woods because he was limping and there was an open wound on his paw. My dad ran out and brought the dog in, we bandaged him up and he became apart of the family. We called him Thunder and he was grateful to live in our house. What was a little ironic about Thunder was his fear of storms and rain; he would go crazy anytime rain would fall. The only way to calm him down was to let him run loose. When I think about him now, I don’t blame him for being afraid of storms. I watched him run off one day, the sky was green and sickly, I called out to him, but he wouldn’t come. Soon sirens went off and my dad forced me downstairs. The next morning, we found Thunders caller torn and shredded, but Thunder was no where to be found. I searched for that dog for months. He was the only pet we ever had and he hadn’t stayed long. I knew he was probably killed that night, but I just could never bring myself to believe that he was gone.
“Brooke?” I jumped at the sound of my name. My mother smiled dryly, “would you like to get your dads blanket out for me please?” I reached behind me for the thick itchy blanket my father had bought in Mexico when he was a kid. His scent seemed to linger in the air as I pulled out the dusty blanket.
The sirens started to blare and Sarah began to whimper, terrified because of the last time we had heard a siren.
It seemed so long ago, when in reality it had only been two years since my father iwas killed. I remember hearing the deafening sirens as my dad frantically drove down the slick farm roads in the country. His face was streaked with fear and his hands seemed to shake on the steering wheel as he drove. The surrounding farm fields seemed to be flooded with at least two feet of water.
“Jack, pull over!” my mother kept demanding.
“Kate, if I pull over right now, what are we gonna do? There isn’t a ditch to lie in, I think we better just keep driving” my father reasoned, lines creased in his face.
“Pull over now!” my mothers’ voice was no longer soft as it had usually been but deep and loud. My father listened and we climbed out of the car. The sirens continued to burn into my ears. “Everybody get on the ground and lay there, we will be just fine” my mother reassured us. As we lay in the mud my sister continued to cry, and I watched as any sign of life seemed to disappear behind a thick wall of water. Suddenly everything became very still the rain had slowed and finally stopped. Just when I began to think we were okay, a noise like a freight train entered my ears. Things around me began to be thrown around and I just watched. My family held close together and in an instant, my father was gone. I never knew where the storm took my father, but I never saw him again.
“Mom, can we go now? Is it over yet?” Sarah asked impatiently, bringing me back from my flashbacks. Sarah’s face was now streaked with tears. She held her skinny legs close to her chest.
“Not until the radio says were all clear”, my mom answered, looking wary in the yellow light of the lantern. Her blond curly hair seemed to fall in her face, which was streaked with dirt. After my father had past away, my mother had become somewhat of a neat freak, and she never cried. Everyday she would pull her hair back into a bun and clean, the already clean house. Even on the day of my father’s funeral, she cleaned and cleaned until we had to go for the service. As friends and family cried and we watched our father’s casket drop into the ground, my mothers eyes were as dry as a desert. I admired her for always being so strong, but I could never get past the way she always looked dead inside.
Finally the radio weather service had given us an all clear and we climbed out of the dusty storm cellar. Branches and leaves covered the ground. Our swing that hung from the largest tree in our yard was tangled in its branches. I saw a sigh of relief leave my mother’s chest as she realized there had been no real damage. She happily went back to cleaning the house and my sister and I tried to get the swing untangled.
It hadn’t been more than an hour, as we still continued struggling to get the swing down, when a heavier set man warily walked towards us, his coat was torn and dirt was splattered across his clothing.
“Excuse me miss, do you happen to have a phone I can use to call a tow truck with” he asked, out of breath. He must have been about six feet tall. His brown hair had leaves in it. His beard seemed shaggy and also dirty. He smelled of whisky and cigarette smoke.
“Ill go tell my mom, one minute”, I watched him suspiciously as I moved away. My sister being the coward that she is ran quickly behind me. “Mom, some guy outside says he needs to use the phone.” She gave me a puzzled expression and then went outside to see for herself. Soon she led the man inside and they sat down at our kitchen table. From the other room my sister and I tried to hear what they were talking about, but their voices seemed mumbled. Soon my mother was laughing and then so was the man’s deep laugh. I pictured his belly moving up and down like Santa when he laughed.
When the tow truck arrived my mom went out to the truck with him. She seemed to smile and laugh a lot. She came back in the house with his phone number on a piece of paper. Her face was bright and cheerful.
“Looks like someone made a friend”, I said sarcastically, I really didn’t like the man he seemed a little off to me. My mothers smile disappeared she frowned at me disapprovingly.
“John, I mean Mr. Gates is a very nice man, and I would prefer it if you treat him with respect.” Her voice was stern and her smile returned. “I think I will invite him over for dinner next week” she exclaimed, lost in her thoughts. I rolled my eyes at her when she turned her back.
To my surprise, Mr. Gates appeared at our house several times over the course of the week, he did his best attempt at a smile, which looked more like an infant before it is about to cry. They would sit in the kitchen for hours at a time. Their laughter carried through the halls of our house. Even outside I could hear his booming voice as he laughed and told my mother stories I wasn’t allowed to hear.
Fall soon began and so did school. I hadn’t been looking forward to going back to Edgewood High School but getting away from my mom and “John” as he insisted we call him, because he and my mother had been irritating me the past few weeks. It seemed as if John had moved in because he never left our house, he even forced us to go to church with him.
The first day of school seemed to be going pretty well and I had a few classes with some friends, and I didn’t get any homework. Standing in the halls I could tell that this year would be a good one. This guy I met in my third period class even hung out with me at my locker. He seemed beyond gorgeous and charismatic energy seemed to pour off of him. “So you think you will go to my party next weekend”, his deep voice chimed smoothly. His beautifully straight teeth flashed me a smile.
“Yeah maybe”, I answered shyly.
“Cool, see you later Brooke.”
“Bye Jackson”, I watched him turn around the corner and I could feel my face turning red. He seemed so perfect. School seemed to go by in a blur after that. Soon the bell rang and I was slowly following behind my sister as she skipped home, talking about something, I just couldn’t pay any attention to know what she was talking about. The dust in the dirt road seemed to swirl into small tornadoes, destroying ant hills and anything else in it’s path.
I wasn’t surprised to see John at our house after school he was laying on our couch flipping through the television channels. “So how was school girls” he asked in his monotone voice which implied he didn’t care. At any rate my sister jumped at the chance to talk obviously unsatisfied with talking to me. I couldn’t hear what she was saying, too lost in my own mind until I saw a stack of boxes lying in the corner of the room.
“Where did all those boxes come from” I asked hoping the answer wasn’t what I thought it would be.
John smiled his crooked smile. “I’m moving in” he said happily waiting for the shocked expression I am sure he had been looking forward to all day.
“Oh”, was all I managed to say. I smiled awkwardly then left outside towards the woods. The cool fall air seemed to mix with the tears that had slowly slid down my face. How dare he move in without consenting me, I lived there first. The ground felt cold underneath me as I lay on the dirt covered floor of the darkening woods. How could I not have seen this coming? He came after a storm that’s sign. Oh how I hate the rain.
The sun had completely disappeared and I could no longer see my hand in front of my face. The wind seemed to blow cooler air as the howling of desperate wolves began to call to one another I figure I better go home. From a distance my home seems to emit a yellow light into the dark sky, it has to be the only house around here, I think our neighbors live about a mile or so down the gravel road. That is, if you call them neighbors, I don’t think we have ever met anyone in this town, my mother has become a social ghost and I haven’t really made friends after my dad passed away. Although, Sarah has seemed to make a few friends they have never come over to our house though. Not that I would blame her from keeping her friends away from our home. Shingles have fallen off the roof, the red paint that used to look new on our house has become a pale, almost pink. Broken trees lay rotting in our yard, my fathers woodshed untouched since he passed away. After my dad died, a lot of things haven’t been fixed.
The smell of apple pie rushes towards me as I open the thick wooden door. The clattering of plates rings in my ears as I walk toward the kitchen. Empty dinner plates sit on the counter next to the sink my mother, busy cleaning, doesn’t even know I have come home. She turns around and jumps. “Oh!” she cries out, “there you are! I was beginning to get worried, I called you in for dinner two hours ago but you never came and John couldn’t wait any longer. Your dinner is in the fridge.” She smiled at me and turned back to the dishes in the sink. I watched as the soap bubbles floated into the air, weightless. I remember blowing bubbles outside our old house. They floated towards the tops of the many roofs in our suburban neighborhood. Kids ran down the street laughing, and playing and I watched them from our small front step. The green grass seemed soft and I loved to just sit out side and blow bubbles into the air. One day, when gray clouds seemed to move swiftly across the once sunny sky, I remember my dad telling me he had some exciting news. My sister and I sat anxiously in our small living room waiting to hear this exciting news. The room seemed to darken as my father began to speak. “I think that it will be good for all of us if we move to this new house mommy and I just bought” he stated slowly. My mother tried to smile reassuring my dad that this was the best thing to do. I could feel my heart race a little as the idea of leaving this beautiful area crossed my mind. I turned my head and looked out the window at our beautiful green lawn, raindrops began to fall and thunder erupted, Sarah, of course, began to cry and I could tell there could be no objections to this news. My father came and sat next to me on our old torn apart couch. “this is going to be fun, you will get your own room, and a real yard with lots of trees” he stated.
“Dad, I don’t want to move” I could feel my lip quiver and tears began to fill my eyes. His face became tired and he hugged me.
“I know baby, but this is for the best.” He seemed to keep saying that, I wasn’t sure who he was really trying to convince, me or him. I could tell in his eyes that he really didn’t want to move either.
“Babe!” a deep voice called from the living room erupting me from my thoughts. “Hey Kate! Bring me a beer!” the voice grumbled. My mother dropped the dishes she was cleaning and ran to the fridge. She pulled out one of Johns beers that seemed to take up two shelves in the fridge, and ran into the living room to please Mr. Gates. The TV seemed extremely loud, something my mother used to hate, yet she never told him to turn it down. She finally came back into the kitchen; she seemed to look more aged everyday.
“So should I heat up your dinner?” she asked, smiling a soft, motherly smile.
“No, that’s okay I’m not really that hungry. I think I’m just gonna go to my room. Good night” I got up and left for my room before she could make any objections.
My room seemed hot and stuffy as I lay on my bed. The light blue walls seemed almost gray now. I could feel my eyes begin to get heavy and knew it was a matter of time until I fell asleep.
The morning sun shined through my window, illuminating my room, and forcing me to get out of bed and ready for school. Downstairs, my mom was serving John his large breakfast like always, his round red face bright and cheerful. He seemed to shovel his food in his mouth, like it was his first and only meal. I watched him eat; disgusted that anyone could eat like that. Like always, he had made me loose my appetite. “Aren’t you gonna eat something?” he asked as eggs dripped off his chin. I shook my head no. “Kids today are way too worried about their weight” he scoffed. “Kate, fry me up some more eggs.” He demanded, like my mother was his servant.
The walk to school seemed longer than normal as Sarah continued to speak of things I couldn’t care about. I watched the sky hoping that the sun would be shining all day. School seemed to go by slowly and I just wished I could leave. Then Jackson appeared at my locker. His perfect smile seemed to make me melt. “hey” he said in his smooth voice, it sounded so beautiful like bells ringing. I blushed.
“Hi!” I said, trying not to smile too big.
“So I was thinking maybe you and I could, I don’t know, go see a movie sometime?” he asked flashing me another one of his perfect smiles. His eyes seemed to match the color of the sun filled blue sky.
“Yeah, that would be fun” I answered shyly.
“Oh, cool! So um ill see you around then.” He chimed. He smiled one more time and then started walking down the hall. I could feel my face reddening. The rest of my day seemed to be better.
The cold air seemed to hit my face like tiny blades and the wind seemed to be gaining more and more strength with every gust. Orange and red leaves danced effortlessly around the street, spinning in small circles until they scratched the gravel in the pavement. Sarah seemed to dance ahead of me, her mouth moving faster than ever. Sometimes I feel bad that I don’t listen to what she says, but I can never pay attention to what she’s talking about. As we approached our house I could see that my good day had been ruined. A large moving van sat in the middle of our driveway. I thought that John had finished moving in his junk, now more boxes will take up the space in our already small living room. As we got closer to the front door, I spotted a pink suit case leaning against the wall. This made me smile, thinking that John may have some secrets about his own sexual identity.
“Hi girls” my mother said in a cheerful voice. She had a large box in her hands and she headed towards the stairs. “Hey I have some exciting news!” she chirped. She sat the box next to the stairs and yelled up to John. “They’re home!” John appeared at the top of the staircase, slowly climbing down are steep stairs. Then another figure came into view at the top landing.
“This is my daughter Victoria”, John said proudly. Victoria smiled politely at my sister and I. Her light blonde hair seemed to bounce as she walked. Her eyes seemed to be a dark green like the color of grass in the spring. Her dimples seemed perfectly symmetrical as she got closer. How could someone so pretty belong to someone so repulsive, I thought to myself.
“Hi! You must be Sarah and you must be Brooke. I’m so happy to finally meet you; I’ve heard so many nice things. I’m very excited to get to know you.” Victoria’s voice seemed very small and quiet. Her smile widened and she looked into my eyes. I smiled awkwardly, wondering what she meant.
“Victoria has come to live with us” my mother explained, seeing the confusion on my face. I looked at my mother wondering where this girl was going to stay, not wanting to hear the answer I already knew. “You’re going to have to share your room, Brooke. We already started moving in her things. I Just know you two are going to get along very well.” Her voice stern, warning me not to comment on anything she said. I could feel the anger rising in my stomach. A sound much like sirens began to ring in my ears. My mother’s eyes locked with mine. Her warning getting sterner, she knew what I was thinking.
“Great.” I said sarcastically and put a fake smile on my face. My mother mumbled something under her breath that sounded something like “thank god!” I couldn’t believe my mother would do this to me!
“We’re going to have so much fun together, Brooke!” Victoria exclaimed. Obviously trying to get my mother on her side. This is so unfair I thought! We climbed the stairs to my room; half of my things were thrown on the floor. My painting’s just thrown on my bed. They must have been taking my things out of my room all day. The side of the room she took had the window and entrance to the bathroom. My rage was fuming now and I could tell that anymore of these “surprises” were going to make me blow up. The color pink now seemed to invade my room like a disease.
“We’ll just leave the two of you alone to get to know each other” my mother said a smug smile on her face. John followed her out of my room. I could feel my anger rising higher and higher in my blood. Victoria continued unpacking boxes, her crimson hair moving side to side as she danced around the room. I couldn’t believe I had no say in any of this.
Outside the sky was becoming a deep purple, the clouds rushing in making huge massive clouds that were ready to explode at any moment. I knew the weather had something to do with the current mishaps and misfortunes that have befell me lately. Rain started to pat against the large panel windows that over look the tall grass fields behind our house. Victoria started to hum happily as she unpacked her things. I found her singing annoying and was about to leave when she turned around to face me. Her soft pale skin seemed to glow in the yellow light of the room. “I’m so excited to start school with you tomorrow. I never had a sister.” Her eyes seemed to gloss over and a smile formed on her small face. “So is your school big?” Victoria’s eyes became wild with excitement as she waited eagerly for my response. I really didn’t want to talk to her but she just wouldn’t stop staring at me.
“Yeah.” I responded in a small voice. And I got off my bed and walked out the door. In the living room John was bust watching some stupid sports game, the TV blaring and flashing from the entry of the living room. I rolled my eyes and I dragged my feet into the kitchen. My mother seemed hunched over a bowl of something tan and lumpy. My eyes began to wonder the water stained walls of the kitchen, I had never realized how depressing the floral wallpaper actually looked. At one time the walls and ceiling must have been white, but now a musty yellow. The wall paper was tearing at the edges. My eyes then locked on the small pencil marks on the corner of the wall near the door to the basement. I remembered the giggling and wide smiles my sister and I wore on our faces, when dad would measure us. My sister would squeal with excitement to see that she had grown an inch in a year. He would grin his famous grin, his large teeth sparkling in the yellow light. My mother would frown in disappointment at my father for letting us draw on the walls. She said that one day our house would be falling apart, all the abuse we gave it. My father would laugh his loud belly laugh his eyes would smile up at her, wrinkling in the corners.
“Baby, look at how big the girls are getting! They are like sunflowers, just sprouting up when ever the sun shines!” My sister and I would giggle and admire the history marked by the wall, remembering that when I was about two inches shorter I lost my front teeth at the same time. My mother couldn’t help but crack a smile and she would run into my father’s arms and hug him. They would stare at the wall and remember too all the things we did when we were just a little shorter.
I could feel the heavy lump invade my throat, like it always did when I thought about my dad. My eyes began to water, and my heart felt heavy. I needed a distraction, my eyes searched desperately for something that didn’t remind me of my father. A flash of lightening outside caught my eye. The window had streaks of fog and dirt across it. I listened to the sound of the rain for a couple of minutes. After awhile I noticed that the rain had seemed to come down in groups, every so often it came down harder making it sound like bullets pelting the roof. Leaves danced around our backyard as the violent wind pulled them off the ground.
“Hun, are you alright?” The sound of my mother’s voice startled me; I jumped back from the window. I hadn’t realized I was tearing a dish towel in my hands; I looked down at the torn towel. I dropped it on the floor and turned to face her.
I smiled, “yeah, great.” Her forehead creased and her eyes filled with worry. I wasn’t sure if she was more concerned that I ruined her towel or the fact that I had been staring off into space for almost twenty minutes.
“Well if you say so then,” her voice became sympathetic and I knew what she would say next. “If you need to talk to me, I’m here for you.”
“I know,” I said flatly, she seemed to repeat herself often lately. I looked down at my red hot hands.
“Mind setting the table? Dinner is just about done.” Although she may have seemed to have asked me to set the table, I knew she meant I better do it, or else. I took one last look out the window, hoping the weather may have cleared up, unfortunately it hadn’t. I pulled out the dishes from the cupboard and moped to the table. When I had finished helping set the table I was forced to sit with everyone for a family dinner. The dim lights in the dining room hurt my eyes. I rolled some peas around my plate for awhile, as the rest of my family ate in silence.
“So anything interesting happen at school today?” my mother broke the silence, her voice sounded a little forced. She made eye contact with me, and I looked away quickly. I had no care to tell them the routine schedule I follow at school all day. My sister sat up straight, never giving up a chance to talk. Her eyes lit up and her mouth slowly opened to respond as usual.
“Well, I am going to join the dance planning committee,” she exclaimed, awaiting approval from my mother and John.
“That’s great honey! I’m glad you’re getting involved in school.” My mother seemed to direct that comment at me. I knew she didn’t care for me going home from school everyday, never bring friends over or going out with them. Its not that I don’t have friends, I just don’t like to hang out with them outside of school. She also didn’t approve of me spending hours in the woods, drawing by myself. I again dropped my head down so I didn’t have to look at her in the eyes. I made a face in my mashed potatoes. Victoria seemed to be watching me, as if studying me. I could feel her eyes on me, as if burning a hole into my head.
“I’m so excited to go to school,” Victoria blurted. “I have always wanted to go to a public school, with normal kids. My dance school was really nice, but I’m so excited to make friends, and go out and do things. So, there’s an actual school dance coming up?” Her light blue eyes still sparkled, even in the dim yellow light of the dining room. I studied her face for a moment; I couldn’t imagine that the school she went to was that different from our school here. Her smooth skin seemed tight with excitement, and she smiled constantly, as if having to prove to someone that she was truly happy to be here, even if she wasn’t.
“Yeah, the dance will be so much fun! I can’t wait to start helping make this the best dance ever!” My sisters over enthusiasm seemed to add to the fake smiles that seemed to pierce everyone’s face. I sighed and put my head in my hands.
“So you’re going to be at the dance too, right Brooke?” Victoria asked in an even faker voice than before. I rolled my eyes at her and shook my head. “You have to go! You and your sister are the only friends I have right now! It will be so much fun, please say you will come.” I opened my mouth to tell her no, obviously she doesn’t know, I don’t do dances.
“ uhh…” I began to utter but was then cut off by my mother.
“She will be going, don’t you worry Vicky.” My mom chimed happily and then she gave me a stern look, meaning I would not argue. I crossed my arms across my chest. I didn’t want to go to any stupid dance. I looked outside; the rain seemed to be pouring harder than ever now. I could feel the anger building up inside my gut.
“May I be excused?” I asked in a voice that came out in more of a squeak.
“You barely ate anything!” My mother whined, I could tell she was hurt that I didn’t want to finish super with everyone.
“I-I had a really big lunch,” I stuttered. John began to eye my plate. He smiled at my mother.
“Don’t worry babe, your cooking wont go to waste.” He reached across the table and dumped my plate unto his. He began to shovel more and more food into his mouth. “You’re excused,” he said with a mouth full of potatoes. My mothers eyes seemed to droop a little and she stared at me for awhile, as if deciding whether or not I was okay. Finally she gave me a forced smile, and nodded agreeing with John that I could leave the table. I walked down the dark hallway towards the stairs. I could hear them laughing as I began to climb up towards my room. When I opened my door, the walls seemed to glow an annoying pink color that made me feel a little sick. It smelled like Victoria decided to dump her perfume all over the floor. The pink walls reminded me of a time when pink was my favorite color.
I remembered the laughter my father and I shared as he chased me around the yard. I wore a pink dress that I tried to ware everyday. The dress was meant for special occasions only but I just loved it so much, I felt like a princess. The shiny pink material seemed to glow in the sunlight. I used to love the way it poofed out around my waist, I would twirl in circles to watch it fly outward. My dad would yell out to me, telling me that mommy didn’t want me to wreak my dress. I would laugh and run, at the age of four everything seemed to be a game to me. My mother stood on the porch disapprovingly, her hands placed stiffly on her waist. “You better get that dress off your daughter right now!” she would yell at him. He would smile, and continue to chase me until he got too tired. He eventually bribed me with candy and then he would take me inside to change. Accept for one day, when it was snowing really hard outside. My dad couldn’t even get outside. He sat in the living room with my mother watching movies. I had wanted some hot chocolate but when I asked my parents they told me they would make me some later. I couldn’t wait any longer. I climbed up on a stool to get the hot chocolate mix and dumped it in a cup and put it in the microwave. I had forgotten the water and I had put my plastic Sippy cup in the microwave. It had looked like a thunderstorm in the microwave; I had never seen anything like that before. Fascinated, I pulled open the door and grabbed the cup. I felt a volt of electricity go through my hand then everything went black. I woke up in a hospital bed. Scraps of my pink dress lay on the floor, I searched for the rest of it all over the room.
“They had to throw away the dress, but its okay, we can get you a new pink dress when we go home,” My dad had tried to reason with me. I cried for hours about the dress. But when they took me shopping to get a new pink dress every time I saw one, I felt that shock I got by touching that cup. After that, the color pink always gave me a sense of pain, I just couldn’t stand it.
Victoria had thrown half of my things out of the closet. Boxes of my things lay sprawled across the area around my bed. A singe of annoyance seemed to grow inside my stomach. I began to pick up the boxes and shove them under my bed. I noticed an old shoe box that just wouldn’t quiet fit. I pulled off the yellow stained lid, crusted with age. Inside were pictures of my father, his favorite tie, the one he wore to church. His watch, he used to ware all the time because his father had given it to him. And the dog dish that my dad had given to Thunder, his name still lightly painted in black on the side of the shiny red bowl.
My heart felt heavy and I could feel more tears welling in my eyes, but they never came out. I stared at the picture of my dad and I at the zoo for a long time. I remembered the laughter of other children around us, the smell of popcorn and animal cages. My dad was fascinated with the elephants; he said they knew a lot more than us. I used to love all the animals but because I was so short, only about four feet tall I had loved the giraffes the most.
“If you could be any animal in the zoo which one would you want to be?” he had asked me.
“Uhh, I would be a lion, no actually a giraffe!” I had exclaimed in my squeaky childish voice. I was only about five years old at the time.
“A giraffe?! Why on earth would you want to be such a strange looking thing?” the corners of his mouth curled upward, his eyes turned too, and he smiled, obviously teasing me.
“Because they are sooo tall! And I’m really short. I hate it.” I crossed my arms in front of my chest.
“You wanna be tall do ya?!” he chased me around the sidewalk and lifted me onto his shoulders. I couldn’t control my laughter. My mother obviously amused with my father and I snapped the picture. My two front teeth were missing, his shirt had a stain from the ketchup I spilled on his shirt. Age lines creased his face, he could have only been about twenty nine years old. My hair had been a lot lighter at the time, almost a white blonde, worn in messy pigtails; I wore it like that almost everyday when I was five.
“Brooke? What are you doing?” I hadn’t realized that Victoria had been in the room. She stood behind me, staring at the crinkled picture I held so tightly in my hands. I turned to face her. She stood with her arms crossed, and her face looked cold, as it had the moment I had met her.
“Sorry, just looking through something’s.”
“That’s not what I meant. You’re on my side of the room.” Her voice was cold and her eyes seemed to pierce my skin.
Surprised I got to my feet, since when had she gotten the right to claim my room hers? She just got here. “Oh.” I responded a little annoyed but because I have trouble confronting others that was all I managed to get out. I sat the picture on my night stand next to my bed. I smiled as the picture sat there, still remembering the smell of cologne and dirt, the smell of my father.
“What an ugly child.” Victoria stared at the new treasure I found. “Oh, is that you?” She then asked, seeing my eyes tighten with anger.
I nodded still studying the picture. She laughed.
“Oh sorry.” And she went back to unpacking her ugly pink shit.
All the way to school in the morning Victoria complained for me to slow down. She apparently didn’t realize that walking through the woods in heels isn’t an easy task. I couldn’t believe that she had gotten up at four in the morning to get ready for school. She was in the bathroom until almost six. When she opened the door, a strong flowery sent rushed at my face, I could feel the vomit building in my stomach. Ten minutes later she began to bang on the door, crying through the wall that she wasn’t finished getting ready. Gingerly I opened the door and left the bathroom. I waited another twenty minutes for her to make her way out of the bathroom, looking no different than she had when she went back in.
Her bright blonde hair bounced in tight spiral curls as we walked towards the school. I couldn’t believe what she was wearing, or that John let her out of the house looking the way she did. Black eye liner was smudged on her eyes thickly, and bright blue eye shadow clung to her eyelids. Her shirt was skin tight and barely covered her belly button and her jeans looked pained on. I had seen a women dressed like this once when we were on vacation in California. She had stood on the corner waving at men in their cars. As we walked past her my mother quickly pushed us past. She had grumbled something about decency and we continued to move on.
The warm air of the school rushed to us as we entered. The yellow glow of the fluorescent lights immediately made me tired. “Where’s my locker? What way is room one hundred thirty two? When do I eat lunch?” Victoria questioned, I could hear the nervousness in her voice.
“Your lockers that way,” I pointed down the halls, then left. As I walked away her eyes widened with fear. A little bit of happiness seemed to grow inside me and I couldn’t help but smile as I turned my back towards my locker.
“Hey, who’s that girl you were with?” Jackson asked in my ear. I jumped out of surprise.
“Uhh she is sort of my step sister…” my eyes started to wonder to the wall, I didn’t like talking about her.
“I didn’t know you had a step sister, that’s cool. What’s her name?” His interest in her hurt me a little.
“Her names Victoria, I don’t like her much…” I said in a dead tone. His eyes widened as he realized my annoyance with the subject.
“Oh, yeah that’s cool then. Hey so when are we going to that movie?”
“Well I’ll have to check my schedule” I blushed, knowing I had nothing going on. My friend Jessica had told me to always seem busy because guys will want you more. After I said it I wished I hadn’t. Jackson’s eyes drooped to the ground, and his mouth curled into a frown.
“Oh, yeah I understand. Well let me know.” He turned to walk away.
“Wait!” I yelled, not realizing how loud I had said it, the kids around me turned to stare at me but I didn’t care. “Friday?” I asked.
He smiled. “Yeah I think that should work.” He continued walking and as his back turned to me I smiled.
“Were you just talking to Jackson?” Jessica, now grabbing my arm and shaking me excitedly exclaimed. Her black curly hair seemed to bounce as she talked. Her pale face glistened in the yellow light.
“Yeah, were seeing a movie.” I tried to stay calm even though I felt like bursting with excitement.
“Oh, my god! That is sooo amazing! Did you follow my advice, seem unavailable?” her eyes bright and she smiled widely.
“Uhh yeah” I lied. First, second, and third period seemed to go by in a blur. All I could think about were Jackson’s blue eyes.
At lunch Jessica and I sat at our regular table with some other girls I pretended to like because Jessica likes them. Victoria sat at a table filled with guys, as they drooled over her. I let out a disgusted sigh and I shook my head. The girls at the table followed my glance to the blonde sitting on top of the lunch table.
“Is that her, Victoria?” Jessica asked after staring at her in silence for a moment.
“Yeah” I managed to say.
“Well, if you don’t like her I don’t like her” Jessica said, looking at me with consoling eyes.
“Me too,” Jamie, a girl that I was kind of friends with said nodding.
“Yeah, me too, she looks like a whore.” Tiffany, a girl that had sat at our table for two years said.
“I think she looks kind of cool,” Emily, the other girl at our table said. Everyone else glared at her. Emily’s face reddened and she went back to eating her turkey sandwich.
After last period I made my way through the crowed hallways to my locker. I grabbed my homework and bright blue backpack. I shut the door and began to look for Victoria, I hadn’t actually figured out where her locker was. So I started walking against the crowd to where I presumed her locker to be. Then, I saw her talking to Jackson. She kept touching his arm and smiling. I felt a part of me begin to crack. I wasn’t sure if I should be mad or upset. I turned the other direction and walked out of the school. She can find her own way home, I thought to myself.
In my room I played loud rock music, like I always did when I was angry. Victoria came in the room with her hands over her ears.
“What is that terrible noise?” she exclaimed.
I didn’t answer her, hoping she would leave the room. Instead she strode over to the stereo and changed the channel to some pop song and turned it down.
“Hey!” I cried and got up defensively to change the music back.
She stood in my way. “Why didn’t you wait for me after school?” her voice was cold and sounded a little hurt.
“I figured you knew how to get home by yourself, I mean I didn’t think you were stupid,” I answered coldly and I narrowed my eyes as I tried to reach past her for the radio. She moved in front of me.
“Are you angry with me?” her eyes now seemed helpless and made me feel a little bad for treating her badly.
“No.” I said, and then I turned and left the room. I grabbed my notebook out of my backpack was sitting by the front door. John lay in his usual spot on the couch. “I’m going out,” I told him, not caring if he heard me or not.
The cold air felt good against my hot face. Orange leaves danced around me as I walked through the woods to my favorite spot in the clearing. Tall, yellow grass swayed back and fourth in the late afternoon sun almost like the ocean. Birds chirped happily and leaves flew past me. I just couldn’t understand why Jackson would have been talking to her. It seems like every guy in the entire school is under her spell and she has only been in the school one day. Anger seemed to boil deep in my veins. I had no idea why she made me so angry, she just did and I couldn’t help it.
“Brooke!” My mother’s voice called out in the distance, even from far away she sounded angry. I knew I would be in trouble for being out after dark. I ignored her yelling, it seemed to carry past me on the cold wind. I lay down in the tall yellow grass and stare up at the clear night sky. I remember laying out here with my dad, he would always point out the constellations and I remember falling asleep out there all the time. In the mornings I always ended up in my bed, my dad had to have been my best friend.
“Brooke?” The voice that called out my name was higher pitched than Sarah’s, and quieter than my mothers. I sat up in the grass and saw a small yellow light coming towards me. “Hey Brooke, your mom said I needed to find you, its time to come home…”
I didn’t want to go back with her, but she had already spotted me and was headed towards me. “Can’t you ever just leave me alone?!” I asked angrily.
“I’m sorry?” her voice sounded confused. “Are you mad at me?” She seemed to constantly ask that question. She stopped a couple feet from where I sat. “Is something wrong?”
“No, just go away. I don’t want to deal with anyone right now.” I suddenly felt very tired. I climbed to my feet and walked quickly, so I didn’t have to walk anywhere near her.