"I'd Die if it Made You Happy"

    "Jess, I think it's better this way." The biggest, yet most productive lie I ever told.
    I could see the merciless tears in her eyes, and I could feel the ones in mine. The feeling of the tears about to spill over in both our eyes was pushing me to walk away right now. I can't. My feelings are exactly what I'm trying to avoid but again, I can't. It was almost like my own personal nightmare.
    Saying goodbye to the most important person in my life.
    "How could you even consider that it's better?" She retorted angrily, the tears finally bursting out of her eyes and rolling down her cheeks. I managed to hold back. "I don't even know. It's just that we fight so much and I can't handle it anymore. You make my life easier, but then sometimes you just make it so much harder. I don't know any other way." I said quietly, afraid that if I yell, I'll be emotional. My strength was starting to fade. Jessica stood up from the sidewalk where we'd been sitting, hate in her eyes. "You think your life is hard?" She asked me. I didn't answer her, I just stared. I knew what was coming next. She took a deep breath. "Try having your father die of a disease that nobody even knew he had, leaving you and your sick mother and three little brothers and an older sister that only makes everything worse. When you're the only one who can keep everything together!" She ripped off her bracelet that we bought together and threw it at me. "Talk to me about a hard life then!" She yelled, sprinting back into her house. I heard the slam of the door and with it, it brought the rain.
    I'm not talking a sprinkle, either. I'm talking a full on downpour, just as I'm walking alone in the heart of a city where nobody wants to help me anymore. I sat underneath a rock shelter in the middle of town, where at least my head would be dry. The rocks and soil at my feet were rushing in a stream of water and getting my bright pink converse muddy. The sad part is, I didn't care. I couldn't understand the fact that my best friend was gone even if I'd made her go. I sat on the rocks, so my pants were a mess, and took out my cell phone. I dialed my mom's number. Ring.. ring.. ring.. "Hello?" I heard her comforting voice. "Mom, I need you to come pick me up." I said as calmly as I could, as to not worry her. "Are you at Jessica's?" I heard her keys jingling in the backround. "No. I'm at the church by her house.. please hurry." I pleaded. "I'll be there as fast as I can, babe." With that she hung up.
                                                                                ..........

    That night I sat alone by the computer, phone in my hand. I wanted so bad to call her. Now, when I wasn't in front of her, I didn't need to be strong. It truly hit me how much I missed her when I found that the hand that my face had been resting on was completely drenched in my tears. I glanced at the time. 11:43 PM. She was definitely asleep by now. I knew how early she liked to fall asleep, on the green couch in her living room. I was tired, too, but I knew that it was going to be impossible to fall asleep with her on my mind. I realized how true it was, that I needed my best friend and I was so incredibly wrong to give it all up but now.. I couldn't do a damn thing. I began crying so hard that I couldn't catch my breath. Frantic, I ran upstairs and sat on the couch in my living room. Out of the corner of my eye, through the doorway of the kitchen, I saw the knife case.
    I couldn't live without her. I couldn't get her back. What choice did that leave me? I slowly walked to the kitchen and reached for the case. I took a deep breath and grabbed a knife. This is my last chance to change my mind, I thought.. but my mind was made up. I closed my eyes, bracing myself.
    I was startled by the sound of the phone ringing. I set the knife down and walked over to the phone. I picked it up and there on the caller I.D.?
    Her name.
                                                                                                    ♥