old and gray

I can't take you the way you want me,
i can't feel alive and someday,
when im old, beaten, and gray,
I'll sit alone and quietly fade,
and count the time as it slips away,
I'll sit outside and watch the rain,
and memorize the lines of age,
I'll write the book page by page,
of my lies, and of your pain,
I can't stop, I cant refrain,
I cant bring myself to speak your name,
everything was all in vain,
everything was all a game,
it gets easier with everyday,
no it doesn't it stays the same,
I want you to know your not to blame,
but I'll be dead before im old and gray.